


Seeking Solace

by sunnywill506



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide attempt, Mentions of Past Depression, Multi, a whole lotta angst, i don't know what to tag without giving away spoilers..., i want to wrap nico in a blanket, nico's dad's a bit of a dick, will does too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-20
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2019-03-21 20:23:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13748592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunnywill506/pseuds/sunnywill506
Summary: There weren’t many things in Nico’s life that he’d consider something he looked forward to. Maybe the groups monthly games night, or the occasional but unlikely times he and the boys go to one of their apartments and get blind drunk.But seeing Will had become something that he looked forward to. Unlike a lot of things, it wasn’t a chore to go out and meet him. He wanted to. They went out, held hands, acted like a couple, and Nico didn’t know what to do with it.





	Seeking Solace

**Author's Note:**

> (solace means comfort or consolation in a time of great distress or sadness and i just figured that it was really fitting given will's nature and relation to nico)
> 
> so yes! i am back after an extremely long time, and i'm sorry to those that were waiting for something new from me. ive been at a new job and although i absolutely love it i havent had much time to work on stories. this is something i started last summer and it's taken so long to get it out and for that i apologise. i have been a big fan of rick riordan's work for a few years now and i can't believe its taken me this long to write something about it. i really hope you enjoy this and let me know what you think - also tell me if there are any mistakes etc pls
> 
> (brief tw- mentions of a past suicide attempt, self harm and depression and miscarriages)

If there was one thing that Nico knew for sure, it was that when Jason and Percy had their minds set on something, they weren’t going to let it go easily. It helped that both of their girlfriends were just as fed up with their antics as Nico was, but when they weren’t around it was up to him to try and put a stop to whatever idiotic plan they had next. And unfortunately for Nico, a lot of plans they had involved him.

 

He was sat on his bed, trying to get his head around basic Roman literature, when there was a knock on his door. “Nico! You in there?” Percy’s voice sounded through the wooden panel.

 

“Idiot, of course he’s in there!” He heard Jason yell back, “As if he ever goes anywhere else.” more knocking, “Hey come on open up!”

 

Rolling his eyes, Nico got up, stretching his arms above his head, and went over to the door, twisting the handle and making a face at the cheerful grins he was met with on the other side. “What do you want?”

 

Percy looked offended, “That’s no way to talk to your friends!” he pushed past Nico and into the room.

 

Nico turned and watched him with narrowed eyes, “You’re not my friends.”

 

“Aw man,” Jason patted him on the shoulder as he joined Percy on the bed, “don’t be like that, we care about you-”

 

“And your wellbeing-”

 

“Which means-”

 

Nico held up a hand, “No.” he said, “Whatever it is; no. I’m not getting involved.”

 

Jason bounced on the bed, the springs making unhappy noises. Nico frowned at his papers getting crumpled. “You have to- it’s about you. We are going to save you from your sad, depressing, little pit here.”

 

Nico raised an eyebrow, “Excuse me?”

 

Percy cleared his throat, “You’ve been wallowing in this dark room for days now, and don’t think we can’t smell _that,_ you could at least open your windows-”

 

“So-” Jason cut in, “You’re coming out with us and you’re going to get laid.”

 

Nico fixed them both with a look, “I don’t need to get laid.” and it was true. He was plenty okay by himself, Percy knew that, right? Besides, he wasn’t in college to have sex with strangers at parties, or pick up dates at clubs. He was there to study. His father didn’t pay for him to go to one of the best schools so he could waste his future on alcohol and cheap drugs.

 

Percy and Jason exchanged a look, “We’ll come by at about 9. You better be ready, otherwise we’ll drag you out kicking and screaming and no offense, but I don’t think you’ll get many dudes wearing Dr Seuss pyjamas.”

 

“What’s wrong with my Dr Seuss pyjamas?!” Nico crossed his arms. Hey, they were comfy OK?

 

Percy sorted, getting up and smoothing out a piece of paper he had sat on. He put it in Nico’s hand as he walked out to the door, “Just change, okay? Something hot but not your usual dark and brooding, ‘kay?”

 

Jason followed, “Yeah because not that that’s not hot, but you want to wait until after you’ve got in their pants before you unleash your inner emo on them.”

 

Nico pushed them out and slammed the door shut.

 

* * *

 

Since his (annoying) friends left him, Nico hadn’t been able to get back into the right mindset to do any work. The words on his literature paper were just glaring back at him in a blurry, uninterpretable serif font. He closed his book with a sigh and dumped his stuff on the floor at the foot of his bed. He then got up, reluctantly moving to his closet to look for clothes, because okay, he’s admitting defeat. Jason and Percy were persistent and he didn’t exactly feel like arguing with them when they came back.

 

As expected, his wardrobe was all black. The only hint of colour was a dark green jacket. He had about three pairs of black jeans, and he pulled one of them out surveyed them, holding them up against a pair that were exactly the same. Sighing, Nico chucked them back into the closet and pulled out the third pair, throwing them into the bed behind him. There wasn’t much variation in his shirts either, but he pulled out a simple black tee and his trusty aviator jacket.

 

If Percy and Jason had a problem with it when they came to get him, they didn’t say anything. After all, Percy was probably right, Dr Seuss pyjamas probably weren’t the best idea.

 

* * *

 

The party was huge, courtesy of one of the college’s fraternity houses. When they arrived there were people milling about everywhere with red solo cups in their hands. There were a few people doing keg stands, a round of beer pong, people making out on the couches. Your typical college party.

 

Jason pointed at one particular couple, playing tonsil tennis against the porch railing, “That could be you by the end of the night.” he laughed.

 

Nico punched him in the arm and tried to shake the image from his mind. They walked around for a bit, checking out the different things that were going on, before they stumbled across the rest of their friends. Annabeth and Piper were engrossed in a conversation about something Nico didn’t really care about, and Leo was harassing Frank about something, much to Hazel’s distress. Percy sauntered over and drapsed an arm around Annabeth’s shoulders, and she snapped out of whatever heated discussion she was having. Jason did the same to Piper, who looked slightly less annoyed by the interruption than Annabeth did.

 

Hazel spotted Nico and smiled, bounding over and grabbing his hand, “You came!”

 

“Uh, yeah.” Nico replied, rubbing the back of his neck, “I was kind of forced to.”

 

Hazel was his half-sister. They shared a father, but neither of them saw him much. He was always far too busy to visit, or call, or even act like they existed apart from putting money into their college funds. Nico wasn’t that bothered, he never got on with his father anyway, so what difference did it make if he never saw him?

 

“Follow me, we’ll get you a drink.”

 

“Uh-” Nico pulled his hand from Hazel’s grip, “I’ll pass, but thanks.”

 

“You sure?” She tilted her head. He hated it when people did that. The little pitiful head tilt. He got enough of that when Bianca died. Bianca was his sister, and she died when he was 10. There isn’t much of a story to tell, so he doesn’t tell it. “Do you want just a water then?”

 

Nico considered it, “Um, no, it’s fine.” His voice was quiet.

 

Hazel didn’t look satisfied with that answer, but she didn’t push it. It was enough for him to even be out of his room, she wasn’t about to scare him off. “Okay-” she squeezed his arm, “I’ll be over with Frank and Leo okay, come get me if you need me, yeah?”

 

“Yeah.” Nico nodded. He watched Hazel walk away, and suddenly he was on his own. He didn’t know where Percy or Jason or Annabeth or Piper had gotten to, but he was stood by himself and he didn’t know anybody around him.

 

Nico’s usual escape at a party was the bathroom, because let’s face it, once people are drunk enough they don’t need an actual toilet to pee; they’ll go anywhere. He headed inside and tried to locate the right door, and after a couple wrong choices and walking in on a couple of people under the sheets, he found the right room. He closed the door and locked it behind him, taking a moment to lean against it and take a breath. He willed himself to calm down, it was just a party, there was no need to get worked up. He splashed some water against his face and stared at his reflection. _You can do this._ He told himself.

 

Parties weren’t Nico’s scene. Not anymore. His friends loved them, though, and so he got dragged along every time. There was once a time where Nico would love going to a party, but there was that one time where there was an accident, somebody got hurt, and suddenly they became another dangerous place he was scared of going to.

 

With another steadying breath, Nico unlocked the bathroom door. He pulled it open, just as it was being pushed by somebody else. Suddenly, Nico’s sight of the party outside was blocked by a guy easily over 6ft. He was broad shouldered, bulky and probably weighed a ton. He looked down at Nico, swaying slightly, eyes unfocused.

 

Then he grinned, and Nico felt his blood run cold.

 

The guy stepped further into the room, forcing Nico to do nothing but back up. It was a pretty small bathroom. He didn’t see because his eyes were trained on the guy’s face, trying to determine what was going on in his head, but he swore he heard the door close behind his huge body. Whoever he was, was clearly drunk. If his unsteadiness wasn’t anything to go by the smell that clung to him definitely was.

 

“Have we met before?” His speech was slurred, and he was stepping closer, forcing Nico into a corner, no escape.

 

He tried to keep calm, “I-I don’t think so.” he managed.

 

The guy hummed, “D-didn’t t-think so… would’ve… would’ve recognised that- that pretty face…” He reached a hand out, slowly cupping Nico’s cheek.

 

Nico felt sick. Scared. There was no way that he could take this guy, he was double his size. His eyes darted around, scanning the room in search for anything that he could smash over his head, but the best thing he saw was a toilet brush.

 

“Why don’t we uh… have a little fun?”

 

“N-no. No please leave me alone.” Nico pushed his hand away.

 

“I don’t think so.”

 

All the time he spent calming himself down was pointless, his breath was quick and uneven, tears were threatening to roll down his cheeks, and he didn’t see a way out of this.

 

But just as the guy started leaning forward, the door burst open and there were shouts. The guy was pulled backwards by a pair of strong looking arms and suddenly he could breathe again. He closed his eyes and counted to ten, and when he opened them again there was somebody staring at him, with kind, blue eyes.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

He was blond, tall, tan, and wearing an orange shirt.

 

Nico regained some of his composure, “I.... I think so.”

 

“NICO!” Percy and Jason ran into the room, faces full of concern, Annabeth and Hazel were behind them. “What happened are you okay? Leo said some guy was-”

 

“I’m fine.”

 

“Are you sure?” Hazel asked, “Do you want us to take you home.”

 

Nico fixed her with a glare. “I’m not a child, Hazel.”

 

Hazel’s face dropped slightly, “I-I know that… It’s just if you want to leave…”

 

“I can take care of myself.” He replied, shouldering past Jason and pushing past whoever the other blond guy was.

 

There were a lot of protests from his friends, and someone reached out and grabbed his wrist to stop him going, but he yanked it out of their grip and pushed threw the crowds to the door. He welcomed the fresh air, and was thankful to be out of the claustrophobic, suffocating atmosphere the party had adopted. He knew he shouldn’t have gone.

 

He felt a little bad about leaving without his friends, but he knew that if he left they’d understand. Instead, Nico leant against the porch railing, looking out as people milled about.

 

“Uh-hey.”

 

He turned around, and it was the same blond guy from before. He wore a sheepish grin on his face. “Yes?”

 

“Just wanted to make sure you were alright, you know…”

 

“I told them and I’ll tell you. I’m fine.” Nico made sure to try and put as much irritation as he could into it.

 

“Okay. Just, I figured maybe, since I’m leaving now anyway, I could walk you home.” Blond guy said, looking genuine about his offer.

 

Nico frowned. “I don’t even know you. Either way, it’s too early to leave. Go back and have fun.”

 

“Nah-” was the reply, “I have a paper I really need to finish, besides I live in the dorms anyway, and I’m pretty sure I’ve seen you around there too.”

 

He could either take the offer and walk home with a stranger, or walk home and be on his own. Somehow the latter seemed preferable. “I think I’ll pass. I just want to be on my own.”

 

“Okay.” he nodded. “That’s not a problem. Take care, okay?”

 

Nico didn’t respond, just stood up straight and headed home, with kind blue eyes at the front of his mind.

 

* * *

 

Nico woke up the following morning to the sound of his phone ringing. He rolled over in bed, a headache forming, and sat up. He reached over to find five message, two missed calls and one incoming call from Percy. He shouldn’t have been surprised though.

 

He hit the accept button and put his phone to his ear. “This better be good, Jackson.”

 

Percy was way too loud for the morning, “Of course it is! But first; how are you? You okay after last night?”

 

Nico had tried not to think about that, but he couldn’t pretend it didn’t happen, “Yeah, as good as you can be when something like that happens.” He didn’t mean to be sarcastic, but he’s fluent in sarcasm so it didn’t help.

 

Percy hummed, “Well we’re all here for you. Anyway, on a lighter note, that guy that found you? We all got to talking and turns out he’s actually a pretty awesome dude. Name’s Will Solace, pre-med student. He’s really cool.”

 

Nico didn’t really see why that mattered. “Okay… so?”

 

“Well I don’t know-” Nico could actually imagine Percy shrugging, “just I’m thinking of inviting him to Leo’s surprise birthday party, and you know, you’d have a chance to actually say thank-you to him for stepping in. It was him that found you after all.”

 

Nico paused. He hadn’t thought about that. There he was, this Will Solace guy, who didn’t have to do anything. But he stepped in and Nico didn’t even thank him. “Oh- y-yeah okay… I guess I should show my appreciation.”

 

“Yup,” Percy popped the ‘p’, “And also, not that this is relevant, but Will’s bi.” he said so quickly Nico almost missed it, “anyway gotta go, bye!”

 

“Wait-” But it was too late, the line was already dead. So Will was bi. What was Percy trying to get at? It didn’t matter to Nico… But the more he dwelled on it the more it made his face warm. He remembered Will’s smile when he went to see him outside. The very fact that he went to make sure he was OK was something.

 

So that made him feel pretty shitty. There was a genuinely nice guy looking out for him and now he probably thinks that Nico’s an ungrateful ass.

 

Leo’s birthday wasn’t for another week, so he had seven days to try and come up with a good excuse and well planned apology. Not only that, but he didn’t know what to get Leo at all.

 

After three minutes of trying to think of something, he gave up, deciding that his presence should be enough to satisfy his friend considering he hated social events as it was. If worse came to worse he could always get him another set of screwdrivers.

 

He looked at the time and sighed, it was far too early. Curse that damn Percy Jackson.

 

* * *

 

It was a slow day. The coffee shop that Nico sat in what relatively quiet, save for the few students at the tables by the windows. He was perched at the counter, leaning forward and watching as the woman on the TV moved her lips and no words came out. There was soft ambient music playing in the background, and the smell of coffee and various teas filled Nico’s nose.

 

There was about a quarter of his drink left, but it was cold now. He pushed it across the counter and sighed. It was only two in the afternoon.

 

Calypso, the barista, came over and smiled, “Hey Nico, anything else?”

 

He managed a small smile, “Uh, no. Thanks, Calypso.”

 

She was a sweet girl, with sandy coloured hair and a kind smile. She was feisty though, therefore it wasn’t a good idea to get on her bad side. When Nico first started going to the particular coffee shop he was a bit scared of her, but once he got to know her and she started dating Leo, it got easier not to be intimidated.

 

She hummed, “Okay. Well, let me know. You coming to Leo’s surprise party? Percy and I have been working so hard to pull this off, you better show.”

 

“Yeah, I’m being dragged along to it. Do you know what you’re getting him?”

 

Calypso smirked, “What are you talking about? I’m a good enough present myself.” she winked and flipped the tea towel over her shoulder, going to serve a customer who just walked in.

 

Nico smiled to himself, staring into his reflection in his cold coffee. He vaguely heard the new customer order, and registered them take a seat next to him.

 

“You take your coffee black?”

 

Nico looked up, eyes widening as he began to recognise who was in front of him. Will Solace. He opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out, like the woman on the TV.

 

Will didn’t seem deterred. He smiled, brightly, “How you doing?”

 

His senses were going haywire, Will’s smile was blinding him. “Thanks!” he blurted out.

 

A laugh bubbled out from Will’s mouth, “For what?”

 

Nico felt self-conscious. God why had he done that? He felt his face burn red, “U-uh for… last night. For… intervening.”

 

Realisation swept across Will’s face, “Oh that? Don’t worry about it, anyone would’ve stepped in.”

 

“Yeah but- it was you, and I didn’t even thank you.”

 

Will nodded, “Okay well… You’re welcome. But seriously, it was no big deal, I was happy to do it.” he said, “How you feeling?”

 

“Um- okay, I guess?”

 

“Will, your drink.” Calypso came over, placing a to-go cup on the counter in front of Will.

 

“Ah, thanks.” He picked it up, smiling at Calypso before focusing his attention on Nico again, “Well that’s something, right?” he replied, “I gotta get going but… I’ll see you at Leo’s surprise party?”

 

Ah that’s right, Percy said he’d invite him. “Yeah. Yeah I’ll be there.”

 

Will looked him up and down with a soft smile, “Great. Catch you there.”

 

Nico’s breath caught in his throat. The look that Will just gave him… god… His voice returned to him just as the door clicked shut as Will left the coffee shop. Nico watched him through the window, walking down the street with the wind in his hair, the sun making it even blonder. “Bye.”

 

* * *

 

It was games night at Jason and Piper’s. They had annual games nights once a month, and usually it rotated between them as to who would host, but since Nico’s dorm isn’t exactly big enough Jason and Piper volunteered their apartment.

 

“And that’ll be 200 please.” Leo smirked.

 

Hazel made a face. “I hate this game.” she said, handing over fake monopoly money to Leo. He’d bought almost a whole row of blocks, and was rolling in cash.

 

Frank picked up the dice, although it didn’t do him much help, as he was still in jail.

 

“I said I’d give you my get out of jail free card if you gave me the electric company.” Annabeth said, she always had a plan up her sleeve.

 

Percy sat to the side, his arms crossed and a pout on his face. Annabeth patted his leg, “It’s okay Percy, you fought well.”

 

He swatted her hand away, “I _always_ go bankrupt first!”

 

Piper laughed, until she landed on Hazel’s hotel space. “Well-” she gave over the money, “If it makes you feel any better Jason had an even more spectacular defeat.”

 

“Yeah he’s still over in the corner sulking. I’ve never seen somebody lose that much money so quickly.” Leo added, fanning himself with his money. “Not that I’m complaining.”

 

Jason made an indistinct noise from the corner, and everybody laughed. It was true; Percy may have lost first, but afterwards, Jason landed on every single one of Leo’s properties, and it left him with nothing. Nico himself was sat watching. He’d been defeated by Frank not long ago, and now he sat up on the chair that Annabeth was leaning against.

 

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door, and that seemed to bring Jason out of his sulk, “Oh, that’ll be the pizza. Nico could you get that?”

 

Nico frowned, “This is _your_ apartment.”

 

“Yeah but you’re closer.” He replied, making that stupid face that always means he wants something. Piper’s a sucker for it especially. “My wallet’s on the counter. Please?”

Rolling his eyes, Nico got up, making sure not to accidentally kick Annabeth as she tried to calculate how many turns it would take to take down Leo and his empire. “Fine.”

 

Jason seemed happy about it, and he shot a look in Percy’s direction that Nico wasn’t entirely sure what to make of. “You’re the best!”

 

Ignoring his friends- they were always like that- Nico walked over to the door and turned the handle. What he was expecting was some teenager with a greasy uniform, a bored expression and bad acne. What he was not expecting was a sunny, cheerful, very much _un_ greasy Will Solace.

 

Surprise briefly crossed Will’s face, before his smile returned. He held out the pizza. “What a coincidence! You’re my last delivery tonight.”

 

Nico suddenly understood the look Jason had given Percy. He gave Will a sarcastic smile and held up a finger. “Would you just excuse me for a moment.” and he closed the door before Will could reply.

 

He turned on Percy and Jason.

 

“Was that Will? Huh, who knew?”

 

“What’d you close the door for? That was our food!”

 

Nico scowled, “Are you _kidding_ me?”

 

Jason dared to feign innocence, “What are you talking about?”

 

Nico shook his head, “If you want that pizza-” he pointed to the door, “then go and get it yourself!” he walked away, throwing Jason’s wallet at his head as he passed, and went into the bathroom to cool down. Why did he get so worked up at seeing Will?

 

After splashing some water on his face, he decided to go back out and try not to kill his friends, but when he opened the door and walked back to the living room Will Solace was sat down. In his chair. Laughing with his friends as if they’d known each other for years.

 

Nico cleared his throat. “Excuse me.”

 

Will looked up, “Oh, hey Nico.”

 

“You’re in my seat.” Nico regarded him with a bored look.

 

“Ah- sorry-”

 

He was about to get up when Percy held up a hand, “It’s no problem, right Nico? You two can squish, there’s not that much room anyway.”

 

Nico made a mental note to strangle Percy Jackson for later. “Can I talk to you a moment please. _Now.”_

 

“Of course!” Percy hopped up, “What’s up?”

 

A quiet sound of disgust came from Nico’s throat. He grabbed Percy’s sleeve and dragged him to the kitchen. “What the hell are you two playing at?” he demanded, “You _knew_ that Will worked at the pizza place. You knew that he was off his shift. Stop trying to meddle, Jackson! You and Jason!”

 

Percy at least had the decency to look apologetic, “We’re not trying to meddle. Honest. We just thought it’d be a nice idea to get to know the guy a bit better before Leo’s party. He’s really nice, you should give him a chance.”

 

Nico squinted. “So this has nothing to do with the fact that you told me he’s bi the other day then?”

 

“Of course not!” That didn’t sound convincing, “It’s just a fact you might have wanted to know. Look- just go out and talk to him. He doesn’t bite… Well, he might if-”

 

“God- OKAY!” Nico pushed Percy out the room, “Okay, I hear you just- please stop.”

 

Percy smirked, muttering something that Nico didn’t pick up. He followed him out and sighed as he watched him bound over to Jason. He glanced in Will’s direction, he was talking to Hazel. Giving up, he headed over and perched on the arm of the chair.

 

“Ah there you are-” Will looked up from Hazel, eyes fixed on him, “I was worried I scared you off.”

 

Nico looked at him for a long moment, so long he was worried Will would get uncomfortable, but he just sat there smiling. “No. You didn’t.”

 

Will’s smile stretched to his eyes, “That’s good then. I was just talking to Hazel. You two are siblings?”

 

“Half-siblings.” Nico corrected. He noticed that Hazel had got up and went over to sit with Frank. “We share a dad.”

 

Will looked like he could relate. “Hmm, I have a lot of siblings too. Big family, the Solace’s.”

 

Nico didn’t really know how to reply to that, but he was lucky as Piper called for everyone’s attention, “Let’s play another game, now that Will’s here. Any suggestions.”

 

“Clue!” Leo shouted around a piece of pizza.

 

There weren’t any objections so Piper got it out and set it up while the others sat back on the floor around the coffee table. Nico was half expecting Will to get up and join them, so he could have his seat back, but he didn’t even move a little.

 

“Everyone in?” Annabeth asked.

 

“Yup.”

 

Nico stared at Will. Sighing, he gestured at him to move, “Budge up then. That chair’s big enough for both of us.”

 

Will didn’t look surprised, but he moved over so that Nico could squish in. Normally, Nico wasn’t one for contact. He’d rather people stayed far away from him and his bubble of personal space. It took him a while to get used to the rest of them being around him so often. But with Will, he didn’t mind his leg pressed up against his, or how his arm always brushed his as he leaned forward and moved his piece on the board. Every time Will so much as moved an inch it made Nico’s face warm.

 

By the time they all wrapped up the games, pizza and drinks, it was really late. Nico was thankful that he didn’t have any morning classes the next day.

 

“Well-” Will sat up, stretching his arms over his head. Nico caught a glimpse of skin where his shirt rode up, “I think I’m gonna get going. It’s a fair walk back to the dorms. Thanks for inviting me though, guys, I had an awesome time.”

 

“No worries man,” Percy sent him a thumbs up, “Glad you came.”

 

Then Will turned to Nico, “You wanna walk back to the dorms together?”

 

Nico was aware that Percy and Jason were watching him, but he answered hoping his voice wasn’t wavering too much, “Y-yeah. Okay.”

 

When they left he tried his best to ignore the faint comments he could hear from the apartment. Screw his friends.

 

It was cold outside, and Nico was thankful that he brought a jacket. He brought his shoulders up and his chin down, huddling in the warmth. Will was the same, he’d tucked his hands into his sleeves and Nico found that oddly adorable.

“Chilly tonight.” he said.

 

“Yeah.” Nico replied. God what a lame reply. “So uh- Percy tells me you’re a pre-med?”

 

Will nodded, “Yup. It’s quite hard, actually, but it’s going to be so worth it when I can save people’s lives, you know? I’ve wanted to be a doctor for so long.”

 

“Wow…”

 

“So what do you want to do? You take literature right?”

 

Had Percy told Will about him? “Ancient literature, yeah. Roman and Greek and all that. As for what I want to do I… I’m not sure.”

 

A sound of consideration came from his left, “I get that. It’s tough trying to figure out what you want to be for the rest of your life at such a young age. It’ll come though, you’ll see. I guess I was lucky, I’ve always wanted to help people, right since I was a kid.”

 

He knew Will meant it as encouragement, but all Nico could think about was the fact that there he was, with friends all knowing what they wanted to do, and he had nothing, nowhere to go. “You’re probably right.” he said quietly.

 

“Trust me.” Will replied, “I’ve known a lot of people who were like that too, and they’ve found their dream job.”

 

Nico didn’t necessarily think Will was lying, but he didn’t know what his dream job was. He wasn’t even that good at anything apart from running away from things that made him uncomfortable.

 

They made small talk on the way back to the dorms, the general stuff, but Nico made sure to avoid any family related topics. Will didn’t need to know about Bianca. Will’s dorm was on the third floor, Nico’s on the second, so Will walked him to the door.

 

“Thanks for the company.” he said.

 

“That’s no problem. Percy invited you anyway so…”

 

“No I mean-” Will looked nervous, “sitting with me, walking back with me… I don’t know, just- thanks.”

 

Nico’s mouth made an ‘o’, “Oh… yeah no worries. You too.”

 

Neither of them said anything, but they were both looking at each other. Finally, Nico reached out for the door handle, “Well, I’ll see you at Leo’s?”

 

Will hesitated, but he reached out and pulled the door shut a little. Nico looked up at him, “Actually I-” he swallowed, “I want to see you before that.”

 

Nico let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, “You mean…”

 

Carefully, Will took a step forward, his head dipped so he could look Nico in the eye, “What ah- what are you doing tomorrow night?”

 

A million thoughts filled Nico’s head at once. He thought about everything and anything, but nothing about plans. “I don’t think I’m doing anything.”

 

“Well you are now.” Will said confidently, and Nico liked the assertiveness Will had, “You’re having dinner with me.”

 

Even if he wanted to, Nico couldn’t bring himself to disagree with Will. “Okay.”

 

Will smiled, burning a hole in Nico’s mind, “I’ll come by around seven then?”

 

Nico’s voice was small, “Okay.”

 

* * *

 

The next day Nico couldn’t stop twitching. It got to the point that Hazel started throwing balls of paper at him to make him stop. They were both in Nico’s dorm studying, although Nico spent more time stressing than studying.

 

“Would you stop?” Hazel brought him back,”Just tell me what’s on your mind already.”

 

Nico glanced at the clock, the hands reading 01:50. Approximately five hours before Will was set to knock on his door. Hazel might be able to calm his nerves a little. “Will asked me out tonight.”

 

Hazel took a moment to process that. Then her face split into a bright smile, “Nico that’s great! What did you say?”

 

“I think I said yes? He’s coming to get me at seven.”

 

“That’s great!” She said again, then she frowned, “It _is_ great, right? You want to go out with him?”

 

Nico suddenly felt bad, but he didn’t know why, “I… I don’t know. He’s nice and all, so I just don’t get why… he’d want to go out with me, I guess...”

 

His sister got up and sat down next to him, putting an arm around his shoulders, “Nico who _wouldn’t_ want to go out with you? Stop putting yourself down like this. Will is a lovely guy, and I’m sure he saw something in you. Just, go out tonight, and if you don’t like him like that then fine, but don’t give up without even trying.”

 

Hazel made a fair point. It’d be unfair to cancel on Will now. “Yeah- yeah okay.”

 

She smiled, “And make sure to tell me all the details!”

 

* * *

 

True to his word, Will knocked on his door at exactly seven. Nico got up from his bed, about to pretend that he didn’t just spend the last hour pacing in his room. He wore pair of black slacks and a deep red polo shirt. He didn’t know where Will was taking him, he just hoped it wasn’t too fancy.

 

When he answered the door, Will was stood, perfect posture, with his arm extended and a bouquet of flowers in his hand. God this boy was going to kill him. Nico would tell that he was fresh out the shower, as a waft of sandalwood and orange reached his nose. His hair looked really soft, and was sticking out in random places, a feature Nico thought was quite cute. Will’s smile was as cheerful as it always was, and there was an underlying scent of a cologne in the air. He wore black slacks as well, but paired them with a baby blue button down. Nico blushed when he noticed that the fit of Will’s shirt left nothing to the imagination. Had he done it on purpose?

 

He smiled sheepishly, “You didn’t have to get me flowers.”

 

“Nonsense!” Will laughed, “It’s date etiquette to bring flowers.”

 

“Right. Uh- I don’t have a vase but I have a glass of water… hold on.” He took the flowers and went back into his dorm, leaving the door open for Will if he chose to follow.

 

“Nice room.”

 

Nico put the flowers in the glass, “I’m pretty sure it’s exactly like yours.”

 

Will laughed again. He did a lot of that. “You ready to go?”

 

Sneaking another glance in the mirror, Nico nodded, “Ready. Where you taking me then?”

 

Nico was half expecting some five star restaurant with the waiters that wore napkins over their arms, but Will took him to a small and cozy bistro not too far of a walk away from campus. Maybe it was unfair to expect so much, college kids weren’t exactly rich. Well… Nico and Hazel were but that’s besides the point, and Will didn’t have to know that.

 

The place was called _The Lotus_ and was full of other diners. Will lead Nico over to a corner booth by a large potted plant. The lights were a warm white and hung low over the tables on copper cables. On their table was the basic bistro essentials; salt and pepper, a menu, a vase of flowers. Nico noticed that the table numbers were painted on beach stones.

 

Over the walls were lots of paintings and illustrations, as well as sets of christmas lights hanging from beam to beam among the rafters. It had a warm feel to it, and Nico felt comfortable.

 

Will must’ve seen him looking at the paintings, “They’re all by local artists you know.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yeah-” he nodded, “They like to promote local work, a lot of it is done by college students. They sell them to this place to earn a little cash.”

 

“That’s actually really cool.” Nico replied. It was true, he was all for stuff like that. There was only one menu on their table, so he picked it up and put it on the table so that they could both see it. Will leaned in to read the drinks, and Nico swore he was doing it on purpose.

 

“Any idea what you want?” he asked.

 

Nico chewed the inside of his cheek. Truthfully, he never really had much of an appetite, much to Hazel’s distress. But Will was making an effort so he should as well. “Uh-”

 

“The portions here are quite big. I don’t know if I’ll be able to finish a whole dish. Want to just get a pizza to share? They’re really good here.”

 

Well that sorted it. Nico tried to keep his cool. “Sure.” He just pretended that didn’t come out an octave higher than usual.

 

Soon after, their waitress came over; a bubbly girl with bright red hair and paint covered jeans, “Hey guys, I’m Rachel, I’ll be your waitress tonight. What can I get you?”

 

“Can we get a pepperoni pizza please? And I’ll have a coke, Nico-”

 

“Uh, just water. Please.”

 

Rachel wrote down their order, “Just the one pizza?” she asked, an amused smile on her face.

“Yes, please.” Will replied, a passive-aggressive smile on his face. Nico got the impression they’ve been acquainted for a while.

 

“You know her?” he asked when Rachel was out of earshot.

 

“Yeah.” Will said, “When you’re a regular like me you tend to get to know the staff. Rachel’s good people though.” Nico didn’t doubt that. “You sure you’re okay with just water?”

 

Nico nodded. “It’s fine.”

 

They fell into an uncomfortable silence. Nico had no idea what to do. He wasn’t used to this kind of thing. He didn’t date, he rarely even left his dorm apart from the times he was dragged out by his friends. Finding something to talk about with Will was challenging. He hardly knew the guy, and it wasn’t like they had a whole lot in common.

 

Unfortunately, when Will broke the silence, he did it with a question Nico had always tried to avoid. “So Hazel’s your half-sister? Your dad remarry or something?”

 

It wasn’t that Nico wasn’t proud of having Hazel as his sister, but whenever anybody found out there were always questions, ones that pry into his family life and things that he’d rather not discuss with people.

 

“Uh- it’s complicated.” He said. And it was, so it was a good way of getting out of talking about it, “But um- you have  a lot of brothers and sisters, didn’t you say?”

 

Will didn’t seem put off by the comment, “Oh yeah. My ‘rents have kids with other people, both remarried and then step-siblings came into it. A few of them are older so I don’t see them that much, but I’m pretty close to Austin and Kayla. They’re our age, and go here, actually.”

 

The names sounded vaguely familiar, but Nico didn’t ask anymore than that. “Oh.” he said, and was lucky that soon after their pizza came out. Rachel put it in between them with a smile in Will’s direction before placing their drinks down as well.

 

“Let me know if you need anything else.” She said, turning on her heel to go attend to another table.

 

The pizza was already cut into six pieces, so logically they’d eat three each. But Nico was very subtle at not eating all that much, and so by the end of the night he’d managed to eat only one while Will made his way through the remaining five, completely oblivious. They didn’t talk much over the food, and for that Nico’s glad, because the silence isn’t as much unwanted as it is kind of a relief. He didn’t have to worry about Will asking too many questions, this way.

 

Will paid, and then they’re on the way out. Nico stopped outside the door, and Will turned to face him. “You ready? I’ll walk with you back to the dorms.”

 

Nico almost said yes, but he didn’t feel like going home with Will, he just wanted to have some time to himself. “Actually I- I have a couple errands to run.” he pointed in the opposite direction, “That way.”

 

Will frowned, “Errands to run at _8:50 at night?”_ The way he said it made Nico feel guilty.

 

“Yeah.” he replied, “But thanks.”

 

Will wasn’t going to argue, so he smiled and nodded, “Well, I’ll see you soon yeah? At Leo’s, or maybe before. I’ll call you, I had a really good time tonight.”

 

Nico turned to walk away, but Will caught his arm, “Nico…”

 

“Yes?”

 

Will stood close to him, his hand still holding his wrist, he looked like he was going to kiss him. Maybe he saw the expression on Nico’s face and decided not to, because he stepped back and adjusted his jacket, “I’ll see you.”

 

He left Nico on the sidewalk. Nico wasn’t sure what made Will _not_ kiss him, but he wanted him to.

 

* * *

 

He wasn’t sure how he ended up there. But somehow Nico found himself outside of Percy’s small apartment. Percy had always said he was welcome there whenever he wanted, but Nico didn’t think that included him turning up out of nowhere at nine at night. Besides, Percy was probably with Annabeth out somewhere.

 

Even so, he knocked on the door, all while wondering why the hell his feet had taken him there of all places.

 

Percy opened the door three heartbeats later, and Nico wasn’t sure if he was relieved or not. “Nico? What are you doing here? Is everything alright?”

 

It was, actually, but he was there, so no going back, “Can I come in?”

 

Percy nodded, and opened the door wider for Nico to shoulder past him. His apartment had one bedroom, and an open plan living space, which Nico noticed contained no Annabeth. “I’m not interrupting anything then?”

“Ah no-” Percy looked around the room, “Annabeth’s got a paper due so she’s cramming in the library with Malcolm.”

 

Nico’s voice was quiet, “Oh…”

 

Percy crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow, “So what’s up with you? How come you’re here; I thought you had a date.” a grin broke out on his face.

 

“So Hazel told you.”

 

“Naturally.”

 

Nico sighed. He wasn’t mad at Hazel, it wasn’t like he told her _not_ to tell anybody, but at the same time he’d appreciate not getting the inevitable looks and winks from his friends. “It’s just… Will seems to like me, a lot, and I’m worried that I- I-”

 

“Don’t like him as much as he likes you?”

 

Nico broke eye contact, “Not just that… what if- what if I _do_ really like him, and we get closer and he finds stuff out, and doesn’t like me anymore.”

 

Percy was silent for a moment, as if taking in what Nico had said, “Nico there is nothing about you that Will wouldn’t like.”

 

There was something about the way that Percy spoke that made Nico feel a little hopeful, but he shook his head instead, “I wouldn’t be so sure.”

 

“Will is a great guy. He’s understanding, forgiving, caring.” Percy said, “Stop giving up before you even try.”

 

Nico fiddled with the hem on his shirt. Percy was right, he usually was. Nico liked Will, he was fun, and it wasn’t fair to write him off, he didn’t deserve that.

 

“You don’t need to see him before Leo’s, and if after that you decide maybe it’s not a good idea, then that’s okay. But… I think you should give him a chance.”

 

A deep breath, “Yeah, okay.”

 

* * *

 

Nico didn’t see Will before Leo’s, but he received a few texts from him, which he left unanswered because he was scared and didn’t know what to say. He felt a pang of guilt every time his phone buzzed with a new message from him, but he couldn’t bring himself to answer. It was a whole load of _“Hey, you free this weekend?” “Want to do anything soon?” “Did I do something wrong last time?” “Hey, Nico you’re worrying me. This is your number right?”_ but eventually Will must’ve had enough, because he sent _“I guess you’re not interested. See you around, I guess.”_ and didn’t send anything else.

 

Nico knew he’d have to face him at Leo’s surprise party. But it wasn’t for another few hours now, so he did his best to try and distract himself until then.

 

But Apparently, Jason had other ideas. He knocked on Nico’s door and came in without even waiting for it to be answered. “Hope you’re decent.” he said, not even bothering to close his eyes anyway.

 

“Not like it’d matter.” Nico muttered, “What do you want?”

 

“I’m getting ready here, and then we’ll go over together. Piper’s already over at Percy’s helping set up, so I’m essentially dateless.” Jason explained.

 

Nico gave him a blank look, “You don’t need a date to go to a _birthday_ party, Jason.” he said, “Besides, who said I want to be your date anyway?”

 

“You’re an absolute delight.” Jason said with a straight face, which made Nico somehow doubt what he said was true. “Come on, Nico, just tell me which of the outfits I brought over looks the best!”

 

And that’s how he spent an hour criticising Jason on his fashion choices. By the time he finally found an outfit he liked, it was time to go, and Nico was grateful he decided to get ready in that time as well, otherwise they’d be late and risk ruining the surprise.

 

Jason checked his phone, “Calypso just texted me, we’ve got about half an hour until Leo is set to turn up, so we better get moving.”

 

Nico followed him out the door, “What did you get him?”

 

Jason paused, “Uh, I haven’t actually got anything… yet… Although, I’m going to tell him I’ll take him out shopping and buy him whatever he wants. I just couldn’t think of anything so I figured if I’m going to get him something it may as well be something I definitely know he’ll like.” he replied, “What about you?”

 

“I had the most stressful time trying to find something, so don’t even ask.” Nico replied, picking up the pace again.

 

They were the last ones to the party, except Leo, of course. The place looked great, Percy and Calypso really went all out with the planning. While Jason went around and said hi to everybody, Nico migrated to the corner where he could keep out of the way of everybody, at least until Leo arrived.

 

He spotted a few people he recognised that Leo was friends with from class, but apart from that he didn’t know that many of the other guests. He saw his usual group by the buffet table, _of course,_ and then Will, who caught his attention as soon as he walked through the door.

 

Will hadn’t seen him yet, but Nico wanted to wait until after Leo arrived before he spoke to him, because it could end badly.

 

When Leo was two minutes away, Calypso turned off the lights and got everybody to hide, “He’s coming!”

 

Nico crouched behind one of the chairs, which he didn’t think was a very inconspicuous hiding place, but it was Leo after all.

 

Leo turned on the lights when he walked into the room, and then everybody was jumping up yelling “Surprise!” at the top of their lungs. Nico stood up less energetically, and his exclamation was far less loud. Leo jumped, his face full of shock before a smile broke out on his face and he started laughing.

 

“What the hell guys! Oh my God this is amazing!” His eyes caught Calypso as she stepped forward, “Did you do this?”

 

Calypso nodded, “Me and Percy.”

 

Leo grabbed her hand and pulled her into a kiss, earning a couple of whistles, “Thank-you.”

 

His girlfriend tucked herself under his arm and kissed his cheek, “You’re welcome.”

 

Percy walked over to them and stuck out a hand, “I’m fine without a kiss.”

 

“Nah-” Leo shook his head. He reached out and grabbed a fistful of Percy’s collar, tugging him toward. He pressed a kiss to his lips and then pushed him away again, “Cheers, Jackson.”

 

Percy looked a little dazed, but he nodded, “Sure thing. Happy Birthday, fireboy.”

 

* * *

 

Nico found his way to the buffet table. There were plates set out, but he picked at the platters and didn’t eat much. He noticed some drinks at the end, and walked over. Picking up a plastic cup, Nico reached for the lemonade, when somebody else’s hand wrapped around the bottle.

 

“Oh, sorry-” He cut himself off when he realised who it was.

 

Will blinked, and quickly stepped away, hand falling to his side, “You go.”

 

Nico shook his head, he was about to insist Will went first, but he knew that they couldn’t keep dancing around each other. It was best to just tackle it head on, “Will I’m sorry I never returned your texts.”

 

He didn’t know if he was expecting Will to be sad or okay with it, but he definitely wasn’t expecting the reaction he got. “Oh so you _did_ get them then?”

 

“That’s not fair.” Nico replied.

 

“I just don’t understand.” Will said, a frown on his face, “I thought you had a good time the other night?”

 

“I _did.”_ Nico insisted, “I was just… scared, I guess.”

 

Will’s features seemed to soften at that, “Of what?”

 

Nico felt small, how did he even get in this position? It could have all been avoided if he just replied to at least one of Will’s texts. He hated talking about this, but he backed himself into it so he’d have to get himself out. “You… not liking me once you got to know me, I suppose.”

 

“Nico…” Will ducked his head down, trying to meet Nico’s eyes, “Why wouldn’t I like you?”

 

“There are a lot of things you don’t know about me.” Nico shrugged, “Not all of them are nice.”

 

Will nodded and suddenly Nico felt a weight lift off his shoulders, “Then that’s something I’ll have to decide.” he said. He picked up a cup and the bottle of lemonade again. “You want a drink?”

 

Nico allowed a small smile to appear on his lips, “Okay, thanks.”

 

Will filled up his up, and then his own, before turning towards the rest of the room and smiling, “Leo looks pretty happy.”

 

Nico followed his gaze, and his eyes landed on Leo, who was ripping into presents with Hazel and Calypso. “Yeah, he does.”

 

“What did you get him?”

 

“Uh-” Nico tried to think of something to change the subject, “I’m going to get some fresh air.”

 

Will gripped his cup, “I’ll come with you.”

 

Nico ignored the fact that it made his ears red and his cheeks heat up.

 

* * *

 

It was relatively warm outside. They were stood on the balcony outside Calypso’s living room, overlooking the busy roads below, full of roaming college students on a night out. Will leaned out over the rail, while Nico held back a little bit, resting his hands on the rail next to Will’s elbow, his cup tight in his grip.

 

“It’s a nice night.” Will said, turning his head to look at Nico.

 

“Yeah.”

 

Will edged closer, and Nico steadied his breathing. “When are you free?”

 

This was going where Nico thought it was going. “I-I don’t know. I’d have to check my schedule-”

 

“Because when you are- we should go out, or something.” His voice sounded helpful, and Nico didn’t want to burst that bubble he had. Besides, he did was to see Will again.

 

“I think I’d like that.” Nico looked up at Will, right into his blue eyes and his bright, toothy smile. The same one that made Nico’s legs feel like jelly that night at the party.

 

Will’s eyes sparkled, or maybe it was the christmas lights that Calypso had on the railing. He kept his eyes locked on Nico’s, all while edging forward again. His eyes seemed to get darker, and Nico realised that it was because he was getting closer, leaning down and pressing forward. Nico felt his breath hitch, but he stood up on his toes to be taller, damn being short, and he lifted his head. Will was so close that he was getting blurry, and when he kissed him it was like little tiny bursts of electricity were tingling just underneath the skin of Nico’s arms. He closed his eyes and pressed forward as Will leaned further down. His lips would probably bruise, but Nico wasn’t thinking about that. All he could think about was the soft lips on his and the hand that had snaked around his waist, fingers digging into his skin.

 

Kissing Will was something Nico would do any day, he decided. He felt comfortable, not like he had when he’d kissed anybody else. He dared to reach up a hand and wrap it around Will’s neck, pulling him closer so that he could deepen the kiss. He feels Will smile against him, and it only urges Nico on.

 

Until the door to the balcony slides open, and they jump apart as though they’ve been electrocuted. Leo stands there with a smirk on his face and his arms crossed. “Interrupting am I?”

 

Will at least has the sense to look embarrassed. “Sorry, Leo…”

 

Nico didn’t say anything, he just tried concentrating on keeping his blush from showing.

 

“It’s no worries. Didn’t want to disturb you.” Leo wiggled his eyebrows, “Anyway we were all wondering where you guys got to. Want me to tell them or…” he trailed off, and Nico’s attention snapped back.

 

“It’s fine!” He blurted, “We’ll come back inside.”

 

Leo laughed, “Excellent. Percy’s gonna love this.”

 

God Nico hated his friends. Percy and Jason gave him shit-eating grins the rest of the night, but Nico actually had a good time. Will walked him back to his dorm again, and he got into bed with a date and a new contact in his phone.

 

* * *

 

Nico decided that maybe Will was good for him. It was what Jason had said to him as they left Leo’s party. He had pulled him aside and whispered in his ear as Will was putting on his coat. _“Don’t let Will get away. He’s good for you.”_

 

At the time, Nico hadn’t known what Jason meant, but now he was pretty sure he did. Will was the complete opposite to him, and so he’d be pulled out of his comfort zone a lot more. That was good, right? Maybe now his father would approve…

 

Nico came out of his dorm bright and early on a Monday morning for class. He had a couple of books under his arm and his phone in his hand, texting Hazel.

 

_(From Hazel: 08:32)_

_Stop being so stubborn about it. You knew this was going to happen._

 

_(To Hazel: 08:33)_

_That doesn’t mean I have to be happy to see him._

 

To give some context; their father was coming to visit. When they had first enrolled at college, he’d said he’d visit at least once a semester. So far, they’ve seen him only once, and they’ve been at Olympus University for two years already.

 

Sure, he was busy a lot of the time, but a call would go a long way. Nico wasn’t looking forward to seeing him whatsoever. Every conversation was forced and awkward and it was obvious that his father had no idea what to say to him, and Nico would much rather avoid the “have you got a girlfriend yet” conversation again. It didn’t matter how he said it, his father couldn’t seem to understand that he would _never_ have a girlfriend.

 

_(From Hazel: 08:35)_

_We’re meeting him for lunch today. I don’t care if I have to drag you, you’re coming._

 

Nico sighed, and pocketed his phone. He knew Hazel wasn’t lying.

 

His class was boring as ever. A 9am with an old stuffy professor wasn’t exactly exciting. He usually sat at the back, looking down at everyone. He felt safer there than having everybody looking down at him from behind. That was unnerving. Sitting at the back also meant he could get away with not paying so much attention, and therefore go on his phone or doodle in the back of his notebook. He didn’t get picked on, and so it was like he was never there.

 

The only downside to that specific class was that it went fast, and so lunchtime came quicker. He had some time to spare before he had to be at the cafe Hazel sent him the location of, so he went into Ogygia, the coffee shop that Calypso worked at and got a drink.

 

“Hey Nico.” she smiled brightly at him, “What can I get you?”

 

Nico took a seat the at counter, “The usual, please.” he frowned, “What’s with the scarf?”

 

Calypso paused, then blushed slightly, “Um… Leo was very appreciative of the party so…”

 

Nico held up a hand, “Got it. Thanks.”

 

She laughed, starting to make his drink, “So did you and Will get back okay afterwards? He walked you home, didn’t he?”

 

“He lives in the same building.” Nico replied, “It’s hardly like he went out of his way.”

 

“Still…” there was a suggestive lilt to her voice, “He’s cute, don’t you think? Are you going to see him again?”

 

Nico rapped his fingers on the counter, “Yes? And yeah, we have plans to see a movie.”

 

Calypso looked up at him and smiled, “A movie eh? We all know what happens at movies.”

 

Nico rolled his eyes and hurried her up, “Not everyone is like you and Leo and make out the whole time, you know.”

 

“Mmm-hmm…” She hummed, putting a lid on Nico’s cup and sliding it over, “Come back to me after and tell me that it _didn’t_ happen, and then I’ll believe that.”

 

Nico put some money on the counter and hopped off, jokingly scowling at Calypso, “I _will.”_

 

Her laugh followed him out of the door and onto the street.

 

* * *

 

When he got to the cafe neither Hazel nor his father was there, so he sat down at a table outside and got out his phone. It was a couple minutes past the time that they were meant to meet, so he sent a quick text to Hazel.

 

_(To Hazel: 12:17)_

_Hey where are you?_

 

The response was almost immediate.

 

_(From Hazel: 12:17)_

_I’m sorry, my class is running late. I’ll text when I’m on my way._

 

Typical. With his luck, his father would turn up and they’d have to make awkward small talk until she arrived. He denied the offer of ordering anything twice, and felt bad sending the waitress away. He watched a pigeon peck at some crumbs on the cobblestone. He played mindless games on his phone until it beeped again and Hazel’s name flashed on the screen.

 

_(From Hazel: 12:33)_

_Okay, I’m out! I’m about a couple minutes away!_

 

Nico looked up, and he shouldn’t have been surprised when he didn’t see his father anywhere around. But that didn’t mean that the ache in his chest wasn’t there. He stood up, chucking his coffee cup in the nearby trash can, when his phone beeped again.

 

He knew it was his father without having to look down, texting to make some excuse.

 

_(From Dad: 12:34)_

_Son, I’m sorry but I have to cancel our lunch today. Maybe another time._

 

He gripped his phone so tightly his knuckles whitened. He tried to stomp down the feeling of disappointment in his stomach. _Typical._ He never should have come. Nico shook his head and headed off away from the cafe, when Hazel came into view.

 

“Nico!” She shouted, waving her hand above her head.

He shouldered past her, and she stopped in her tracks, “W-where are you going?”

 

“Forget it, Hazel. He’s not coming.” He said, barely glancing over his shoulder.

 

Hazel caught up to him, getting ahold of his arm and pulling him back, “What do you mean?”

 

“Don’t you get it?!” Nico snapped, “He doesn’t care about us. He doesn’t care about _me.”_

 

His sister made a face, “You _know_ that’s not true.”

 

Nico scoffed, “Of course it is. You’re his favourite, have been since Bianca died. He went to _your_ parent teacher conferences, _your_ graduation, supported _your_ ambitions. He may have paid for us to both go to college but we both know that he didn’t want to have to. He’d rather it was me that was out of the picture.” Even as he said it he knew it was unfair. It wasn’t fair to tell Hazel this, of all people, when she felt out of place already in their family.

 

She came into their lives not long after Bianca died, and Nico knew that she felt as though she was an outsider. Even though he knew that, he also knew that she was his father’s new favourite. After all, nobody wants somebody like Nico as a son, right?

 

Hazel looked as though he just slapped her. She broke eye contact and let go of Nico’s arm, slowly hugging her arms to her body. “Nico please…”

 

His father had never been there for him, especially after he came out. He didn’t take it seriously, thought it was a faze. When Bianca died Nico was alone, and the one person that should’ve been there wasn’t, and since then he’s used to being let down, being a disappointment and being alone. It wouldn’t be the first time.

 

“I’m sorry, Hazel.” He said, “I can’t keep pretending as though he wants to be in my life, when he’d rather be off on the other side of the world on business. He’d rather that I… I- I can’t keep getting my hopes up and then being knocked down.” The look on Hazel’s face was painful to look at, “I’m sorry. I really am, but I’m done. No more.”

 

At first he appreciated when Hazel tried to get them to work it out, but after the third time went bust, he gave up hope.

 

His sister nodded sadly, adjusting the strap of her bag on her shoulder, “Right. I understand.”

 

Nico gave her a sad look, wishing he could say something, or take it back, but he knew he couldn’t. Instead, he turned around again and headed back to his dorm, wishing that he could hide under the covers and nobody would find him.

 

That is what he did. When he got in, he climbed underneath the black duvet adorning his bed and pulled it tightly over his head. It was starting to rain, and there was the slight sound of drops hitting his window. Talk about pathetic fallacy.

 

A few minutes passed. Or… maybe it was hours, but it was raining heavier and Nico noticed it had gotten darker. Over the rain and the fact that his hands were pressed to his ears, Nico was surprised when he heard a knock on his door.

 

He crawled out of his duvet and noticed a sudden chill in the air. He padded over to the door and twisted the handle. Suddenly his dark and depressing room was full of bright, yellow light.

 

Nico breathed, “Will.”

 

Will was smiling when the door was opened, a cheery grin that was always plastered to his face. Light radiated off of him, and warmth. But when he saw Nico his smile wavered. “Have you been crying?”

 

Nico blinked, then touched his face. His fingers came away wet, and he rubbed at his eyes with his sleeve. He hadn’t even noticed. “Uh- it’s nothing… What ah- what are you doing here?”

 

Will looked worried, “We were meant to go see a movie, remember?”

 

How late had it gotten? He looked over at the clock and his eyes widened. He’d slept most of the day away. His stomach rumbled as if on cue. “Right… um- Will I don’t think that I’m up for going out tonight. I’m sorry.”

 

“No, don’t be.” Will smiled gently, and it made warmth bloom in Nico’s chest, “It’s fine.”

 

Nico tightened his grip on the door, “Do you want to come in instead?” he asked, “Only if you want to, I just don’t really feel like being alone.”

 

That was a lie. He would rather be alone, he didn’t want any of his friends, or even Hazel around, but for some reason with Will he felt comfortable. Will was warm and bright, and in his cold and dark life, Nico needed some of that.

 

“Of course.” Will said, stepping in and closing the door behind him, as Nico went back over and got into bed. He patted the space next to him, and Will joined him.

 

Nico got his laptop out, “We can still watch a movie, if you like.”

 

“Yeah.” Will replied, getting more comfortable. He’d moved to sit thigh to thigh with Nico, “Why were you crying?”

 

Nico brought up Netflix, and tried to play it off, “It’s a long story. No big deal.”

 

Suddenly there was a hand on his, Will’s thumb rubbing circles into his wrist, “Nico.”

 

Nico looked up and into Will’s eyes. They were really close.

 

Will squeezed his hand, “I want you to be able to talk to me.”

 

Will seemed like a good person to confide in. But Nico had kept these things hidden for so long, he wasn’t quite ready to give them up yet. “I’m not ready.”

 

“Then when you are-” Will’s eyes reflected the light from Nico’s laptop, “I’ll be here.”

 

It was genuine. Nico knew that. Will wasn’t the type of person to not say something sincerely. Nico nodded, moving down the bed and tucking himself into Will’s side. So they’d been on one date? He’d never felt more at ease. He wasn’t usually one for touching, but he didn’t feel awkward around him. Will was the kind of person that Nico had never met before. There was something about him. Will put an arm around his shoulder, and pressed play.

 

* * *

 

Nico didn’t watch the end of the movie, because he fell asleep. The whole day was painfully exhausting, and Will was pretty comfortable to lean on. Will nudged him as the credits started rolling.

 

“What time is it?” he asked, groggily sitting up and yawning.

 

Will laughed at the way his hair stuck up in weird places, “Ten-twenty.”

 

Nico groaned, trying to bury his head further into Will’s hoodie. He was overwhelmed by the distinct smell that was just _Will._ Sandalwood and orange. “Are you leaving?”

 

Will was quiet for a moment, before he shifted, “I have to. I have a really early class tomorrow morning. I’m sorry.”

 

He got it. He couldn’t keep Will forever. “Okay.” He sat up and allowed Will to get off the bed, before stretching.

 

Will stood, stifling his own yawn. He smiled down at Nico, who was now sat on the edge of the bed looking up at him with half closed eyes and messy hair. He leaned down, lifted Nico’s chin with his finger and placed a small, chaste kiss to his lips. Nico breathed into it, and Will thought the look on his face when he pulled away was adorable.

 

“I’ll text you, okay?”

 

Nico was holding onto his sleeve, but reluctantly let go, “Yeah.”

 

Will smiled at him, “Get a good night’s sleep.”

 

Nico didn’t say anything else as Will left and shut the door with a soft click. It may not have been for very long, but sleeping on Will was the best sleep he’s had in a long time.

 

* * *

 

They met up a lot more, and slowly but surely Nico was coming out of his shell a bit more. He wasn’t afraid for Will to know him as much as he used to be. Will found out about his favourite food, places to go to. And  as they got to know each other, the more Nico started to like him. They’d rescheduled their movie date, and Will had taken him to a horror. Nico loved horrors though, but pretended to be scared so he could sit closer to Will. He got to learn all the little things that made him tick, he got to know they way that Will kissed, and responded to it instinctively. Nico was scared Will was the person he’d fall for.

 

There weren’t many things in Nico’s life that he’d consider something he looked forward to. Maybe the groups monthly games night, or the occasional but unlikely times he and the boys go to one of their apartments and get blind drunk.

 

But seeing Will had become something that he looked forward to. Unlike a lot of things, it wasn’t a chore to go out and meet him. He _wanted_ to. They went out, held hands, acted like a couple, and Nico didn’t know what to do with it.

 

Because of this, however, Jason and Percy were relentless in their jokes and teasing. Percy was way worse than Jason was, but that was because Jason knew about Nico’s _previous_ crush. Percy, evidently, didn’t. It was a Friday night, and Nico, Percy, Jason and Frank were at Leo’s apartment. It was a thing they did, play poker, have beers and by the end of it make fun of each other for the stupidest things. It was tradition.

 

Percy and Leo were ‘go hard or go home’ kind of people. Jason was a bit more restrained and Frank, good old Frank, barely touched anything. Nico, on that particular night, wanted to get so drunk he’d have a hangover for days.

 

They were all sat around Leo’s tiny dining table, a couple of them having to pull up chairs from the other room to sit. There were poker chips, crisp crumbs and wet circles on the table where they hadn’t used coasters. Percy had a coaster on his head, and red cheeks. The clock read 01:12.

 

Frank was currently leading the game, but none of them were in any real state to carry on reasonably, so they picked up their drinks and migrated to the living room, where Leo plopped down to the floor unceremoniously, and held up his bottle, “To the lads!”

 

“Here here!” Percy toasted with him.

 

Jason found a seat on the couch, and Nico sat down next to him, his vision blurry and head dizzy. There was a dull pulse of music in the background. Frank sat on his right.

 

“So….” Percy drawled, turning his focus to Nico and pointing a long, slender finger at him “What’s the situation with Will?”

 

“Ooo- yeah I want to know too!” Leo piped up.

 

Nico gave a noncommittal shrug, “We hold hands in public now. We’ve been out a few times and I feel funny around him, that’s hardly anything.” although he knew he was lying. He’d never felt about anyone the way he felt about Will.

 

The boys were silent for a minute, then Jason spoke up, “Sounds like something to me. You never feel _anything_ about _anyone.”_

 

“That’s true.” Frank said. He looked at his watch and his eyes widened, “Is that the time? Oh man, Hazel’s gonna kill me. I gotta go.”

 

“Party pooper.” Leo called him.

 

“Actually, Frank has a point. I should get going as well.” Jason said, putting his now empty beer bottle on the side table. “I’m meant to be meeting Thalia tomorrow.”

 

Leo made faces at both of them, but didn’t stop them when they left. He turned to Nico and Percy, “You taking off as well?”

 

Percy groaned from the floor, “Nah- my place is too far and I don’t wanna walk…”

 

Nico considered it, but his drunk mind made a decision pretty quickly, “I’ll crash on the couch.”

 

* * *

 

His head was splitting with pain the next morning, but that was expected. Leo didn’t have curtains in his apartment apart from the bedroom and bathroom, which meant sunlight was beaming right into Nico’s eyes. He sat up, trying to get out of the sun, and reached around for his phone. When he couldn’t find it, he flopped back down and threw an arm over his face to block out the light.

 

“Morning sunshine!”

 

Screw Leo Valdez and his ability to _absorb_ alcohol like a fucking sponge. Somewhere on the floor he heard Percy groan.

 

“Fuck off Valdez.” Nico mumbled, not opening his eyes.

 

“Ah come on- I cooked. Nothing better than greasy bacon the morning after a hangover.”

 

The sound of bacon was kind of appealing. Reluctantly, Nico sat up again, and was grateful when Leo passed him some water and painkillers. By now, the smell of breakfast was wafting through and into Nico’s nose, and suddenly his mouth started watering and he found himself moving into the kitchen. He passed Percy’s body on the way.

 

“Oh here-” Leo handed him his phone, “It’s been going off for ages. Hazel’s been worried. Also Percy’s phone has the been going _crazy_ with texts from Annabeth. God only know what he did.”

 

Nico mumbled his thanks, “That’s Hazel for you. And it’s Percy, he probably forgot to put the toilet seat down again.” He watched as Leo started serving food, and Percy had come into the kitchen, sitting himself down into the chair next to him.

 

“You look like shit.” Leo said to him matter-of-factly.

 

“Thanks.” Percy muttered, “Feel like it, too.”

 

Leo laughed, “By the way, Annabeth texted me, and she’s pretty mad at you. She didn’t say why, so I figured you’d know?”

 

Percy looked confused for a moment, then he let his head fall down and groaned, and Nico guessed it wasn’t because of the hangover. “Fuck.”

 

“What did you do this time?” Nico asked.

 

“It’s a long story.” Percy said, getting to his feet, “I’m gonna have to skip breakfast. I need to go sort this out. You’ll find out eventually, it’s just she told me something and I kind of reacted pretty badly.”

 

Nico and Leo exchanged looks, “God, hope she doesn’t kill you, man.” Leo said.

 

“You and me both.” Percy said, hopping to the door, “Catch you later. Or not.”

 

After he had gone, Nico suddenly felt a loss for words. He didn’t spend that much time alone with Leo. They got on, but never really had anything in common. He cleared his throat “So your one year anniversary with Calypso is coming up, right? Got any plans?”

 

Leo hummed, “I don’t know. I kinda suck at the whole romance thing, surprisingly.”

 

Nico wasn’t _that_ surprised. “Sure. Ask Hazel, she’s a huge hopeless romantic. She’s always dragging Frank on dates and always texts me when he does the smallest thing. Talk to her about dates and you’ll have a million options.”

 

Leo didn’t say anything but he nodded, looking somewhere behind Nico’s head. Nico looked down at his empty plate, and figured there was no need to hang around, “I might take off.”

 

“Wait up-” Leo said, causing Nico to pause halfway through getting up. He sat back down as Leo cleared his throat, “What _is_ going on with you and Will? You do like him right?”

 

Of course. Nobody these days could resist asking him about Will. “Yeah, I do, what of it?”

 

“Well it’s just…” Leo looked like he didn’t know how to word it, “It’s just Will is a really good guy, you know? He used to be in a really serious relationship, and it ended really badly. Since then I don’t think he’s ever had a serious thing. I just… I don’t know, I guess I just don’t want it to happen to him again.”

 

Nico raised an eyebrow, “Are you saying I’m not good for him? That I can’t keep a serious relationship going?”

 

“ _No!”_ Leo waved an arm around, “You know what I mean! Just don’t lead him on if you’re not serious. I don’t want to see him get his heart broken.”

 

“And if he breaks my heart? Did you give him this speech as well?”

 

Leo’s eyes widened, “Don’t be like that-”

 

“No really.” Nico snapped, “I’m the bad guy in this situation? Because God forbid Will could hurt me, I have to be the one who ruins it.” He got up, picking up his phone from the table and sticking it in his pocket. He headed over to the door.

 

“Come on-”

 

Nico opened the door, “Thanks for breakfast.” He let it slam behind him.

 

What gave Leo the right? He was his friend first, but he looks out for Will before him. Who said that he was the one who’d end up fucking it up anyway? Surely Will is just as capable. Sure, Nico didn’t exactly have the best track record with relationships. Most of them weren’t even relationships, just one night stands and hook ups from when he went out.

 

But Will was the first person to make him really feel something, and in truth, that was terrifying for Nico.

 

Okay, so realistically, he was the one who would probably end it. He didn’t know if he was serious about Will, but he’d only known him for so long.

 

The air was crisp outside and Nico stuffed his hands into his pockets. It was busy out on the streets, with people going from A to B without a care in the world as to what other people are up to. Nico didn’t have any classes that day, so he set off in the direction of the dorm building, with the intention of getting so extra hours of sleep.

 

His dorm was cold when he got in, so he grabbed a hoodie and struggled to put it over the thinner one he was already wearing, in an attempt to get warm. Just as he sat on the bed, there was a knock at Nico’s door. Frowning, Nico got up and went over to open it.

 

Hazel’s red face was what greeted him. She was panting and had a hand on the door frame as she leant over, trying to catch her breath. Her hair was a mess and she looked like she had run a marathon.

 

Immediately, worry filled Nico’s veins, “Hazel?”

 

“I- I texted... and I tried calling but your phone must be off or-”

 

Nico stepped out and grabbed her arms, “Hazel, what happened? What’s going on, are you okay?”

 

Hazel shook her head, swallowing thickly, “No it’s- It’s dad he… he came back into town to make it up to us and-” she looked like she was about to cry, “Oh God, Nico… there’s been an accident…”

 

* * *

 

Nico lost his mother when he was 8 years old, and two years after that he lost Bianca. From just those two trips he’d gotten used to hating the inside of hospitals. The one by his university was no different. Sterile countertops, shiny flooring and clinical colours painted across miles of walls. The antiseptic smell had filled Nico’s nostrils, and the sound of children and adults alike crying was enough to make him insane.

 

Hazel had been called by a doctor about ten minutes ago, and she hadn’t returned yet. Their friends had arrived about fifteen minutes before that, and were sat around in various waiting room chairs, fiddling with their thumbs to wait it out.  Nobody had said anything to him, and Nico didn’t blame them. He wouldn’t know what to say in this situation either.

 

The thing that shook him the most was _why_ his father was in hospital. A car incident. It was what killed his sister, and as much as they didn’t get along, he’d hate for it to take his father as well. He wasn’t going to lose another parent. He couldn’t.

 

Hazel returned a minute later with a tear-stained face. Everybody stood up, expecting her to say something, but Nico remained seated, his head in his hands, a sick feeling in his stomach.

 

“He’s okay. They said he’s in a stable condition.” She turned to her brother, putting a kind hand on his shoulder, “Nico. We can go and see him, if you want.”

 

He hadn’t gone to see Bianca when she was hit, and didn’t get to say a proper goodbye, and that was something he regretted ever since, and will regret forever. He wasn’t about to make the same mistake, even if his father was going to be okay. He stood up, grateful for the support from Hazel, and headed off in the direction of his father’s room.

 

There was a soft beeping when Nico got to the door, and as Hazel walked inside, he hesitated. Hazel turned around and sighed, “You don’t have to, you-”

 

“No, I do.” Nico interrupted her. He gathered all his courage and walked into the room.

 

The beeping got closer and louder, and suddenly he was at his father’s bedside. He was awake, and his eyes were trained on Nico, a pair of dark brown eyes staring at him with such intent. “Nico.”

 

Hazel stepped forward, “I’ll give you two some time. I’ll be just outside.”

 

Nico nodded, but he didn’t look away from his father.

 

He stayed standing for another couple of minutes, then he stepped back and sat in the dark red leather chair that was by the window.

 

“How have you been?” His voice was gravelly, and rough. Nico hadn’t seen him in so long he didn’t know if he’d always sounded like that or it was the result of the accident.

 

“Fine.” Nico said, suddenly feeling a bitter, “Like you care.”

 

If his father could look anymore tired, he did it, “I do care, son.”

 

Nico looked away, eyes trained on the linoleum beneath his shoes, “You don’t. You never have, not about me.”

 

His father was silent for a while, then Nico heard him shift, “I’m sorry you felt like that.”

 

Nico bit the inside of his cheek, “You never called. You never visited, unless it was _convenient_ for you.”

 

“That’s not true.” Nico could tell from the beeping that his heart rate was increasing. Now wasn’t really the time to be having his conversation, but Nico was mad and it was now or never.

 

“Yes it is and you know it.” Nico snapped, “You’ve only ever cared about Bianca. After she left I may as well have been invisible. You got Hazel to replace her but you _forgot_ about me. You know nothing about me.”

 

His father blinked slowly, “Then let me get to know you. Tell me… are you… how’s school? Are you dating any girls?”

 

Nico’s face must’ve been a picture, because his father added on the end; “Or are you still pretending to like men?”

 

He dug his fingernails into his palms so hard he feared he might’ve broken the skin, but Nico was angry. His vision was turning red, “I’m done.” He stood up abruptly, “Don’t even pretend to be interested.”

 

“Nico-”

 

“No!” By this point Hazel had come back in to see what was going on, “I have a _boyfriend,_ but as if you care!”

 

“Hey!” Hazel reached an arm out, but Nico batted it away, “Nico calm down.”

 

Nurses were rushing in, instructing Nico to calm down but he snatched his hands out of their grip whenever they tried to remove him from the room.

 

“Sir you need to leave. We will call security if-”

 

“I’m fucking _leaving_ alright?” Nico snapped, “Jesus…”

 

Hazel didn’t go after him, but Nico stalked down the corridor back to the waiting room, kicking his feet against the tile, swearing under his breath.

 

When he got back out everyone stood up, opening their mouths to ask what happened but Nico just gave them all a look and they shut their mouths again.

 

“Hey-”

 

“Percy unless you’re coming to get drunk with me, you can fuck off.” Nico turned to look over his shoulder, where in normal circumstances Percy’s face would’ve been funny.

 

His friend looked hurt and shocked, but he nodded and didn’t say anything. With that, Nico shook his head and left the hospital, with people looking after him, worried he’d cause trouble.

 

He didn’t care if he had to walk, but he headed to the nearest bar he knew.

 

Inside, his friends sat down, exchanging worried looks with each other.

 

“What do we do?” Piper asked.

 

“There’s nothing we can do.” Annabeth replied, “We have to just let him sort it out on his own.”

 

“We have to do something!” Percy exclaimed, “He’s our friend!”

 

Jason hummed, “There might be something we can do.”

 

* * *

 

He was stupid to think that anything had changed. The very fact that being in a _hospital bed_ didn’t change anything between him and his father killed all his future hopes. He shouldn’t have gone to the hospital. He should’ve just gotten Hazel to tell him how he was, and leave it at that. His father never cared about him, so why should he care about his father?

 

The bar he wound up in was on the corner of two buildings. A dark, damp and weird smelling place, which was pretty bad, but was frequented by a lot of college students. He and Will had been there a couple times, on the way back from a date.

 

Nico had ordered another drink, and he was swaying on his feet as he tried to hold onto the bar. At any other bar, he’d be refused, but this one was cheap and crappy and nobody really cared. The bartender slid a glass across to him, and Nico reached out for it, picking it up and taking a swig. It didn’t matter how much he drank, he still felt like shit. There was a hollowness in his chest that wouldn’t be filled no matter how much alcohol he drank. After that drink, he ordered another, and lost track of how long he’d been in there. All he remembered was that he always had a full drink in front of him. The bartender and other people around him were blurry, and they all had clones.

 

Nico was about to reach for his glass, when somebody else picked it up and put it far away, out of reach.

 

Nico frowned, about to say something when he looked up and all the breath was stolen from his lungs.

 

“Will… What are you- what- why?”

 

Will put an arm around his shoulder and let him lean his weight on him, “Jason called me. About an hour ago. He sounded pretty worried and that you might be in trouble. So… I’ve been to ever bar on campus but- I found you.”

 

Something other than hate ran through his veins, and Nico felt suddenly very lightheaded. “You’d do that for me?”

 

Will squeezed his shoulder, “Of course I would.”

 

Nico wanted to cry. He didn’t deserve this, and didn’t deserve Will. “It’s all fucked up. Everything’s so fucked up.”

 

Will wrapped his arms around him and Nico buried his face in his shoulder, “I know.”

 

He hurted so much he felt numb, and suddenly he was sixteen again, in his room with a chair pushed against the door so nobody could get in, and what should’ve stung like hell didn’t feel like anything. He missed his sister. He missed her so much he never really got over her death.

 

He let out a shaky breath into Will’s chest, squeezing his eyes shut so that nobody would know he was crying, and murmured, “It’s so fucked up.”

 

* * *

 

Will walked him to his dorm, and they stopped outside. It had sobered him up a lot. Nico unlocked the door and pushed it open. He turned around and faced Will, who was still out in the hall.

 

“Do you want me to stay?”

 

Nico hadn’t opened the door further, in a purposeful attempt for Will to stay outside. “No.”

 

Will didn’t seem disappointed, instead he smiled gently and nodded, “Okay. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”

 

“Wait I-” Nico’s voice was small, but Will heard and turned around, “Will I don’t think that this is a good idea anymore.”

 

Will took a step forward, a frown creasing his forehead, “What do you mean?”

 

Nico sniffed, “This.” he picked at a thread that was coming from his shirt, “I can’t do this anymore.”

 

Hurt seeped into the lines on Will’s face, his eyes dropped and Nico watched the way his adam’s apple bobbed when he swallowed thickly. “I don’t understand. I- I thought- why?”

 

“I’m so messed up, Will. Everything I touch falls apart. Disaster follows me around.” Nico’s lip trembled, his eyes glassy. “It’s… I- I can’t do this.”

 

“I don’t mind.” Will said, his voice laden with sadness, “I can-”

 

“No- no you don’t understand!” Nico cried. “We _can’t_ be together, Will. Never.”

 

Nico knew Will was an emotional person, but it still hurt when he saw a tear roll down his cheek. “What did I do?”

 

Nico wanted to take it all back, because Will _hadn’t_ done anything. But he knew that if it got any further Will would get hurt. “I’m a bad person, Will.” he said, “You deserve better.”

 

Will reached out and grabbed one of Nico’s hands, putting the other on the doorframe to stop him from closing the door. “Nico please… Just- just talk to me, and we can work… we can work it out. Please… let me in.”

 

Will’s hand was warm, but Nico pushed it away, “I can’t…” he whispered, and silence fell over them. Neither of them said anything, and Nico eventually couldn’t take it anymore. “You need to move your hand.”

 

Will shook his head, “No-”

 

“Will please… just let me go.” He replied, “You won’t get hurt that way.”

 

“I’m getting hurt now!” Will wiped at his face, “I-”

 

It was hurting Nico as much as it was hurting Will. Nico looked down, and pushed the door. Will moved it hand without a word, and the next thing Nico heard was the click of the door closing. Nico squeezed his eyes shut and fell back against the door, sliding down until he hit the floor. He wrapped his arms around his knees and buried his head.

 

Tears were streaming freely down his cheeks, and the ache in his chest grew by the second. The tell tale thump in the hall told him that Will had done the same the other side of the door.

 

Nico let out a sob. “Everything’s so fucked up.”

 

* * *

 

Nico didn’t go out once since he told Will to leave, and he hadn’t looked at his phone once. He just plugged himself into his laptop and watched reruns of _Buffy._ He knew he had millions of messages from Hazel and Percy and Piper and the rest of them but he didn’t want to answer any of them. He did wonder if he had any messages from Will, but after what he did he wouldn’t be surprised if Will never spoke to him again.

 

He curled further into the hoodie he was wearing, which he realised with a start was actually Will’s. He’d just gotten so used to wearing it he didn’t think about putting it on. Seeing Will’s clothes brought back a truckload of memories. He remembered the first time Will grabbed his hand in public...

 

_Will was round at Nico’s dorm, a little while after he’d last been there. They were sitting on Nico’s bed, Will’s arm around his shoulders._

 

_“What are you thinking about?” Will asked, tracing circles on Nico’s thigh. He kissed the top of his head._

 

_They’d gotten a lot more touchy in the past week or so. Nico liked it. He hummed, “Not much. Do you want to go out for a walk?”_

 

_“Sure.” Will replied, shifting so he could get off the bed. “You going to put a coat on or stay in that?” he pointed at the hoodie Nico was wearing, which was formerly his own, but Nico had claimed it._

 

_Nico pulled his hands into the sleeves, “I think I’ll wear this.”_

 

_Will laughed, and grabbed the door. “You’re adorable.”_

 

_“Don’t call me that.” Nico scowled._

 

_They walked for a couple of miles, then turned into the park. There were families, dog walkers, rollerbladers, all sorts of people milling about and enjoying the one nice day in the middle of a week of rain. Nico and Will’s hands were bumping against each other as they walked, and so Will was brave and reached for it. He intertwined their fingers and squeezed Nico’s hand for reassurance. It took Nico a couple of seconds; Will’s hand was warm in comparison to his own, but he got used to it and he smiled, squeezing Will’s hand back._

 

* * *

 

Hazel was outside his door when Nico opened it the next day to go to class. She was stood with her eyebrows raised and hands on her hips, an unimpressed expression etched on her face. “You haven’t be returning my calls, texts, anything. Nico you can’t block anybody out because of what happened with dad or with Will. I’m your sister. Talk to me. Dad’s being discharged soon, you need to talk to him eventually.”

 

Nico pulled the door closed behind him, “Hazel don’t take any offense to this but you’re really not the person I want to talk to. I don’t want to talk to anybody right now, but… You wouldn’t understand.”

 

“Then tell me somebody who would.” She replied. Hazel considered it for a moment, then frowned, “Is it Jason? I know you two were close after-”

 

“Hazel.” Nico stopped her, “Please, just let it go.” he pleaded.

 

Hazel shook her head, “You’re my brother, I can’t-”

 

Nico squeezed his fists tightly, “I’m not having this conversation with you!” He snapped, “You don’t know what you’re talking about, you have _no idea._ This has nothing to do with you, or anybody else. I know my place in this this, in dad’s life, in yours. Just leave me alone, for good, okay?”

 

Hazel looked on the edge of tears, “You don’t mean that.”

 

“How do you know what I mean?” Nico scowled, “You don’t know anything.” He shouldered past her and stalked down the hall.

 

Hazel sniffed, biting down on her lip to keep her tears at bay. She wished she could help him, but she didn’t know how. The last time Nico was this bad he… She shook her head, she didn’t want to think about it.

 

* * *

 

Nico wasn’t having a good morning. After his confrontation with Hazel, his professor was late for the lecture, and so he had to sit for ten minutes while other student annoyingly chatted over him. There was a childish buzz in the air as people gossiped and joked with each other, and it reminded Nico of high school, and the horrible time he had trying to fit in. He remembered when he was a freshman, and the only thing he wanted was to belong.

 

He was bullied constantly for a good few years, and when he turned sixteen he became friends with Jason and Percy, and hoped that finally he’d be left alone. But he was wrong, and if anything the bullying got worse, forcing Nico into a dark corner that he couldn’t get out of. He couldn’t even tell anybody what was happening because he was scared he’d get treated like a child. He didn’t have Bianca anymore, he didn’t have his mother, and his father never had any time. He’d pushed Hazel away defiantly, and was left alone.  In the end it got too much and if his father had been five minutes later…

 

He was submitted to a rehabilitation centre not long after, got painfully thin, refused to eat. Since he was ten years old, he’d never felt as though anybody wanted him. Half his life he spent in a dark world, with a heavy, empty weight in his chest. He thought it was impossible to feel heavy and empty at the same time, but now he’d felt that way for so long it was strange without it. The scars on his arms were proof if the fact that he’d lived, he was given another chance, but now it seemed as though that second chance was all for nothing.

 

But then came along Will Solace, and he radiated a light Nico hadn’t seen since he was a kid and swung from tree branches, shouting after his sister in the garden. He brought warmth into his life again, but just as quickly Nico pushed him away and was surrounded by coldness once more. He’d pushed everybody away. Hazel, his father, Will, all his friends. They probably all hated him.

 

He’d told Will everything, apart from his thing for Percy. He’d managed to work up the courage and told him about Bianca, his depression, his eating disorder, and of course Will had been nothing but supportive, and now he regretted it because he’d screwed everything up. Again.

 

The door to the auditorium burst open and a hurried professor scuttled in, dropping pieces of paper as he tried to get to the podium at the front. Nico watched him from his seat with no expression. He didn’t want to be here after all.

 

His professor opened his mouth, “Sorry for the delay. Now-”

 

Nico stood up abruptly, chair scraping painfully against the floor.

 

“Is there a problem, Mr di Angelo?”

 

Nico blinked. There was a problem. He wasn’t sure what it was but he knew he needed to get out of there as soon as possible. Hundreds of pairs of eyes were staring at him, but Nico didn’t care that there were tears in his eyes. He just picked up his things, threw them into his bag and then rushed out of the auditorium.

 

He made it to the courtyard before he broke down. He dropped his bag, fell to his knees and let his head hang low. He was thankful there was nobody around, otherwise he knew he’d be getting strange looks. He instinctively reached for the hair band he’d taken to wearing around his wrist. He flicked it a couple of times and forced himself to calm down. Hazel had given it to him after she realised what he’d been doing in his room late at night, told him to use it as a distraction.

 

So far it worked, but today it didn’t, and Nico felt his breath getting shallow and laboured. He leant back against a tree and tilted his head back, gasping in deep breaths and squeezing his eyes closed. If anybody did come wandering into the courtyard he’d rather not see them stare. He dug his nails into his palms, something he has previous scars from doing, and steadied his breathing.

 

Nico wiped a tear from his cheek and sniffed, letting his hands fall lifelessly to his sides in defeat. He felt pathetic. When he opened his eyes the clouds overhead was moving lazily across the grey sky, and then a figure obstructed his view and a pair of blue eyes stared down at him, brow furrowed.

 

Nico broke eye contact, “Jason. Please don’t-”

 

“I’m not going to say anything, but I’m assuming you’re meant to be in class right now.” Jason replied. When Nico didn’t say anything he sighed, “Come on, I’ll walk you back to your dorm.”

 

Nico considered it. He thought Jason hated him, which now that he thought about it seemed unlikely considering he didn’t do anything to him. He accepted the and from Jason and picked up his bag, throwing it over his shoulder.

 

The two of them walked back to Nico’s dorm in silence, which he was thankful for. The last thing he wanted was to have to explain to Jason why he was skipping class to have a breakdown by a tree.

 

When they got in, Nico put his backpack on the floor by the door and climbed onto his bed, leaning against the wall and tucking his knees to his chest. Jason sat on his desk chair, crossing his arms. Nico knew he wanted to say something, but the thing about Jason was he knew when not to push something.

 

Nico decided that Jason didn’t have to ask this time. “I don’t know what to do.” he said, “I don’t even know what happened back there... “

 

Jason looked at him with something other than pity in his eyes. Nico appreciated that the most about him. Whenever he spoke to somebody all he got was pity, with Jason he never got that. Jason always understood. “What happened?”

 

“I was in class.” he replied, “Everything was loud and overwhelming. It… I guess it just- reminded me of high school.”

 

Jason knew just about everything that Nico went through, he was one of the few people that did. “I thought-”

 

“I thought I was okay too, Jason, but I’m not.” Nico said glumly. He tucked his hands into his sleeves and blew a strand of hair out of his eyes, “I pushed everyone away from me. Hazel, Percy, my dad… Will…” he sniffed, “He understood me. He cared about me and I just shut him out.”

 

Jason didn’t say anything, just leaned his chin in his hand and listened.

 

“After Percy I swore to myself that I wouldn’t… fall… again… and I- I was so close to falling in love with Will, I had to stop it. Stop myself from making another mistake and ending up heartbroken.” Nico swallowed the lump in his throat, “Getting over Percy was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I don’t think I can do that again.”

 

Jason bit his lip, running something over in his head, “Maybe… I don’t think you’ll have to do that again. Get over anybody, I mean. Not with Will.”

 

“You can’t know that.”

 

“Not 100%, sure. But with Will, you seem different. With Percy you held back around him, you were afraid you’d slip up when you were around him. Holding onto him so long was what hurt you. With Will you don’t hold back. I’ve seen how happy you are with him.” Jason said, leaning forward, “You’re allowed to make mistakes, Nico. But I don’t think that Will would be one.”

 

Nico must’ve not looked convinced because Jason sighed, “I mean let’s face it. The main problem with Percy was that he’s straight. At least you know Will’s into guys.”

 

It made a smile, even if it was faint, break out on Nico’s face. Jason smiled. Nico let out a long breath, “You’re right. God, Jason you’re always right. Piper must hate getting in arguments with you.”

 

Jason laughed, “You’re going to be okay. And if not, you have us, and contrary to what you believe, you haven’t pushed us away. Percy got over it, and you could never push Hazel away. I don’t know about your dad, but we’re your family too, okay? We love you as well.”

 

Nico’s eyes widened. Nobody had ever said that to him. Sure, he knew that his friends loved him, but he’d never heard anybody say those three words to him. It made his chest tight. “Being with Will won’t fix me, you know that, right?”

 

“Of course I do. But he’ll be there to help you. We all will be.”

 

Nico thought that he was crazy to think anything else. The way Jason said it so matter-of-factly, made him see that of course it was true. “So what do I do now?”

 

“Well… Will’s pre-med, right? He might prove helpful in more ways than one.” Jason replied, “But… I think if you’re going to approach him again, you need to tell him everything. Don’t leave him in the dark, because you’ll both end up getting hurt again.”

 

Nico nodded. “Okay.”

 

* * *

 

Will was an easy person to find. Nico knew he’d be at the library this time of night, which is why he called Hazel before going to talk to him.

 

She picked up on the third ring, _“Hey… are you okay?”_

 

“Yeah I- I called to apologise.” He replied, “You know, for…”

 

_“You don’t need to apologise, Nico. I get it.”_ Hazel said, “ _Just- please don’t shut me out. I want to help.”_

 

“I know. And I’m sorry for that, as well.” Nico replied, positioning the phone between his head and shoulder, “I’m going to try and work things out with Will.”

 

_“I’m glad, I really am. I have to go, but I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”_

 

“Okay. Bye.”

 

Nico hung up and put his phone in his pocket. It was 8:27 in the evening, the library would be open for another half an hour or so, that gave him plenty of time to reach Will. It wasn’t cold out, but Nico still felt the urge to put on Will’s hoodie. It was a quick walk to the library, thanks to the streets being pretty bare of any students.

 

He pulled open the heavy doors and stepped in, bringing a cool breeze with him that made papers fly off tables and a few irritated glances be sent his way. He wiped his shoes on the doormat and looked around. The library was two storeys high lined with bookshelves along every wall. There was a balcony on the second floor which allowed people to overlook the area with all the desks, which were usually full of students around exam season. There was a computer bank pushed into the far corner, with boxy monitors the size of small ovens. It was safe to say the library hadn’t been refurbished in a long time.

 

Will’s usual place was upstairs, in a small reading nook with a desk and coffee table. He’d told Nico that was where he and a couple friends, Cecil and Lou Ellen liked to sit and study. Nico hadn’t met them, but they seemed like nice people.

 

He headed up the stairs, not liking the way the steps creaked under his weight and the sound echoed around the library. When he got to the top he could see that Will’s corner was already occupied, he couldn’t see who by but he was hoping he got the right person.

 

As he got closer, however, he could see that it wasn’t Will, and he tried to ignore the disappointment in his stomach. Instead, there was a boy and a girl, the girl had dark hair, pulled into a loose ponytail, while the boy had lighter hair and was stuck in a book.

 

It was the girl that noticed Nico. “Can we help you?” she asked.

 

Nico took a step back. There wasn’t any hostility in her voice, per se, but he realised that he didn’t know what to say to these people at all. “Uh- No, I’m looking for somebody… actually… Maybe you know him?”

 

“Who?” the boy asked, he was watching him with curious but also unnerving eyes.

 

“Uh- Will Solace?”

 

“You know Will?” The girl stood up, she sounded pleasantly surprised, “You must be Nico?”

 

Nico frowned. “Yes?”

 

The boy smiled, “We’ve heard so much about you. God, Will wouldn’t shut up about you, he hasn’t said much about you recently though. What did you do?”

 

The girl hissed, “Cecil shut up, don’t go prying like that.”

 

“Sorry Lou but this kid might’ve-”

 

“It doesn’t matter!” She interrupted her friend, she stuck out a hand in Nico’s direction, “I’m Lou Ellen, and this is Cecil. We’re friends of Will’s.”

 

Nico nodded, and shook her extended hand, “Hi. Nico.”

 

Lou Ellen got him to sit down, and got it out of him why he was looking for Will, although Nico left out a few of the details. She leaned back and sighed contently, “Oh yeah, Will would be hear but he’s at a party tonight. You know the Stolls? They’re having a costume party, for whatever reason. We’re actually heading there now, you want to tag along with us?”

 

The last party Nico was at it hadn’t exactly gone the way he wanted, but this time he had an agenda and boy was he going to stick to it. Cecil had put down his book and was now waiting for him expectantly. “Yes or no?”

 

Nico didn’t see what he had to lose, “Yes.”

 

* * *

 

Nico was thankful that Will’s friends were chatterboxes and gossips. He didn’t have to say a word the whole way to the Stoll’s and it didn’t take them long at all to get there. As he figured, there were people everywhere, all dressed in elaborate and eccentric costumes. He couldn’t spot Will amongst the thrall of college students even if he had the vision of a hawk.

 

He turned to Lou Ellen, “Do you have any idea what he was wearing?”

 

She shrugged, “No clue, but knowing Will, he’s probably wearing doctors scrubs.” she smiled and punched him in the shoulder, something Nico will never admit actually hurt him, “Good luck!” then she and Cecil disappeared into the mass of people.

 

Nico hoped it didn’t matter that he wasn’t wearing a costume. He followed the direction that most people seemed to be going in and found himself inside, where the music was throbbing in his ears.

 

He spotted Travis Stoll chatting up various different people all at once, and rolled his eyes. The other Stoll, however, was nowhere to be seen, and neither was Nico’s reason to be here.

 

He scanned a couple of rooms before going out into the main hallway. Will was bound to pass through at some point. He’d just wait it out.

 

He didn’t have to wait long at all. Will came stumbling through, holding a bottle of God knows what in his hand. Nico intercepted him. “Will”

 

Will grinned at him, and Nico tried to keep the disgust at having alcohol breathed over him from showing on his face. “Nico! What are- you doing here?”

 

Despite being drunk, Nico was impressed by Will’s ability to speak. “I need to talk to you. I’ve been thinking about you and us and I think I made a mistake...” He took a step back and allowed him some time to take in what Will was wearing. Lou Ellen had been right, he was wearing doctor’s scrubs. He wasn’t wearing the little hair-net that went with the costume, and so his hair was all stuck up and sticking out in places it didn’t normally. If Nico didn’t know better it looked like hands had been run through it.

 

“That’s great!” Will said, grin expanding.

 

Nico frowned when he noticed the white and red smeers around Will’s mouth. Last time he checked that wasn’t what was required at the hospital these days. He was about to ask but that was when something caught his eye, and he looked behind Will to see Connor Stoll come from the same direction Will did. Connor was dressed as a clown, a full face of makeup as well. Or at least, it was a full face of makeup until it had been smudged by…

 

Nico looked at Connor’s makeup to the smeers on Will’s face, and back again. Then it clicked in his head. Will’s hair had had hands run through it, Connor’s.

 

His stomach dropped and his chest tightened. What was he expecting? He’d ended it with Will, after all.

 

Will turned around and seemed to understand what had spooked Nico so much, and it sobered him right up. He spun around, “Nico I can explain-”

 

“You don’t have to. We’re not together, after all. You can do whatever you want. I just didn’t expect it to be so soon that you got over me.” He tried not to let the hurt show on his face. He knew he was being unfair, but he’d gotten so used to being disappointed she shouldn’t have gotten his hopes up and thought Will was any different. He turned around and headed out, not caring that the music was drowning out Will’s shouts.

 

He’d gotten to the sidewalk by the time Will had grabbed his wrist and spun him around, “Nico please! Just let me explain.”

 

Nico was quiet. Then he nodded for Will to carry on.

 

“It’s not that I got over you so quickly. I _couldn't_ get over you. I’m still trying. I won’t lie and say what you said didn’t hurt me, but… I just don’t understand _why.”_

 

Nico looked him in the eye, “And Connor?”

 

“Was a mistake. I swear. I only came to this stupid party because I was miserable and Austin dragged me along. I drank because I was sad and he was nice to me. We started flirting and… God, Nico I promise it was a mistake.”

 

It wasn’t right, or fair to not at least hear WIll out, but Nico hurt. “I should go.”

 

Will looked like a kicked puppy, “Please. Just let me explain.” he pleaded, “Please.”

 

“This wasn’t going to work anyway. We’re not meant to be together, Will.” Nico said, trying to seem as composed as possible, “I’m sorry.”

 

“So there’s no chance…” Will said quietly, “No hope for us now?”

 

Nico looked down. It was at that point that Connor Stoll came up behind Will and slung an arm around his shoulders, “Hey, Solace. You coming back in or what? We can pick up where we left off.” he smirked.

 

Will looked sick, he glanced quickly at Connor and then back at Nico, mouth opening and closing.

 

Nico shrugged, “You should go have fun.” he said, “Don’t let me get in the way of that.”

 

“Excellent.” Connor said, “Listen to di Angelo, Solace.” he tugged on Will’s costume and directed him back towards the party. Will looked at Nico over his shoulder, probably expecting Nico to step in, but he never did.

 

Nico watched them go with an empty feeling, but decided it was because he was hungry and not heartbroken. He ignored the way his heart hurt when he noticed Conno’s hand travel south and rest in Will’s back pocket.

 

Instead, he got out his phone and thought about texting somebody, but he was a bit reluctant to talk to any of his friends after what happened, despite being okay with Jason and Hazel again. He especially didn’t want to talk to Percy, but his mind was made up for him when he got a message from Annabeth of all people.

 

_(From: Annabeth 21:26)_

_Hey, Nico. Me and Percy are gathering everybody at our apartment. We’d like it if you could be there too. We have some news. Hope you can make it._

 

He frowned at his phone. It was rare that Annabeth texted him all together, even weirder that they were summoning the rest of his friends as well. He figured that they’d all lecture him for not going, and Jason said that they had all forgiven him anyway, so he sighed, pocketed his phone and headed to their apartment.

 

When he got there, everybody else was already sat around talking. He walked in after Annabeth had opened the door and everyone stopped and turned to him, smiles on their faces.

 

“You came!” Hazel said, hopping up and grabbing his hand, pulling him over to where she was sat with Piper.

 

Percy gave him a reassuring smile, which he took as a good sign considering the last he saw of him he told him to fuck off. Nico gave a small smile back.

 

“What’s all this about, anyway?” Piper asked, after having pulled Nico into a sideways hug.

 

“We know it’s a bit sudden… but we have some pretty exciting news.” Annabeth said.

 

“You’re getting married?” Leo asked.

 

Percy laughed, “No, but close…”

 

Nico thought back, and the time he and Percy were at Leo’s that one morning was ringing bells. Percy had gotten multiple texts from Annabeth  and when asked he said he’d reacted to something badly… Nico frowned as he tried to figure it out, and then his mouth dropped open.

 

He stared at his two friends, “You’re not…” he looked to Annabeth, “Are you…”

 

Annabeth gripped Percy’s hand, and nodded, “I’m pregnant! Nine weeks!”

 

* * *

 

There had been cheers and pats on the back, but Nico made an excuse to get out of their as soon as it was to escape without being rude. It wasn’t like he wasn’t happy for them, because he was, but seeing Percy and Annabeth all happy and domestic and about to have a _baby_ was a bit disheartening, especially since he gave up his chances of being happy and domestic only an hour ago.

 

He got back to his dorm and flopped onto his bed. He thought about Will and Connor and the fact they were probably drunkenly making out in a corner of a random room right about now.

 

He hated how it made him feel, how it made him feel so useless. He rolled over and buried his head underneath his pillow. _I need help._

 

It was hard, admitting that he needed help. He always thought that he was tough enough, strong enough to endure it. He had too much pride to ask for help. That’s why, for his first appointment with a psychiatrist, Jason went with him for moral support. He stayed in the reception area with him until he went in, and then went out and waited in the car.

 

It meant for Nico that he had somebody there but he didn’t have anybody waiting on him as such. It gave him a sense of independence. He had to do it on his own, it wasn’t going to go away with the flick of a switch, he knew that. No amount of friends or family would fix his problems. Will Solace _wasn’t_ the answer to his problems. _Love_ wasn’t the answer to his problems. He knew that.

 

He’d spent so much time pretending that he was okay, convincing himself that he was okay. The first step is recognising that you’re not.

 

* * *

 

_(Two weeks later)_

 

Nico pushed the door the was hit in the face by the strong breeze. He put a hand up to his face to shield it as he made his way to where Jason had parked. Jason had recently gotten his driving license, and so Nico made sure to take advantage of it as much as possible.

 

When he got the car he rushed to get inside away from the bitter cold. Jason had the heating on max while he listened to some radio station.

 

“How’d it go?”

 

Nico shivered, “Good.”

 

Jason had gotten Nico a few appointments at the local psychiatrist, and in the past two weeks he had 4 appointments, each for an hour. They were going as well as they could. During the first one, Nico didn’t speak very much, but he gradually spoke more and more, and was looking forward to his next session. He didn’t feel any different, but he knew he wasn’t going to straight away, and that was okay, at least he was getting help.

 

Jason started the engine, “That’s good.” he said, “Do you want to go for lunch?”

 

“No it’s fine. I’ve been taking up far too much of your time. Piper must hate me.”

 

Jason laughed as he pulled out of the car park, “Nah, a mild dislike I’d say.”

 

Nico snorted, “I thought that was how she felt about you?”

 

If Jason hadn’t been driving, Nico was pretty sure he would have punched him in the arm. Instead he settled on calling him an asshole and putting on the radio to a station he knew Nico hated.

 

After about 12 minutes of listening to Carly Rae Jepsen, Nico shut it off. He could only indulge Jason’s music taste for so long. Jason cast an amused glance in his direction but Nico ignored it in favour of looking out the window. His friend fiddled with some of the buttons and soon after there was some soft rock coming through the speakers.

 

“Have you been in contact with Will?” Jason asked.

 

Nico sighed. He knew it was bound to come up eventually. He hadn’t, in fact, been in contact with Will. They didn’t exactly end on good terms, after all. It wasn’t like they were going to be texting everyday. He doubted Will even wanted to see him. It’d been weeks and he hadn’t seen or heard of him since the Stoll’s party.

 

“No.”

 

“Oh…”

 

“Why?”

 

Jason shrugged, “Just… Piper’s under the impression that you’re okay and we’re having a thing this weekend. She invited Will. If it makes you uncomfortable I can-”

 

“No-” Nico cut him off, “don’t… don’t do anything. Not for me. I don’t think I can do this weekend anyway. Don’t worry about it.”

 

Jason looked unsure, “Are you sure? It’s not a big deal.”

 

“Exactly, so don’t make it into one.” Nico replied, “I don’t have a problem if you want to be friends with Will. I mean, who wouldn’t, he’s amazing.”

 

His friend was quiet for a moment, thinking about something as he pulled up to the dorm building. He switched off the engine, and turned to face Nico.“You’re not over him?”

 

Nico scoffed, reaching for the door handle, “How can I be?” he said, “Will was… different.”

 

Jason didn’t say anything else as he got out of the car and closed the door. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and walked away, pretending he wasn’t relieved when Jason started the engine again and pulled away from the curb.

 

* * *

 

Nico stuck by his word and didn’t go to the party that Jason and Piper were having at their’s. It wasn’t that he was avoiding Will. Okay, he kind of was, but he would rather spend his time alone rather than worrying about bumping into Will and having to make awkward small talk. It wasn’t just Will that was keeping him in his dorm though. Hazel had been in contact with him and said that their father was coming to visit again. He’d made a full recovery from the accident weeks ago, and since then, Nico begrudgingly admitted, he’d made an actual effort to see them.

 

Apparently he wanted to meet Nico alone for dinner. Nico himself was a bit reluctant, but after being pestered by Hazel, he gave in.

 

He stared at the time on his phone and sighed. He was meant to be meeting him in thirty minutes. He hadn’t seen his father since he was in the hospital, he always made excuses whenever he visited since. He couldn’t make another one without being harsh.

 

He wasn’t even sure that his father would be there this time, even though he was pretty certain he would be. Nico grabbed his jacket and slipped it on, walking out the door to what he knew was certain doom.

 

To his surprise, his father was already there when he got to the restaurant. He was sat at a table in the back, and Nico only noticed him because his fixed and serious upright posture stood out amongst the rest of the patrons. Nico nodded at a waitress as he walked past and hesitantly approached the table.

 

His father looked up as Nico stopped by the opposite chair, a stiff smile on his face.

 

“You came.” he said.

 

“Were you surprised?” Nico asked bluntly, “I actually turn up when I’m expected.”

 

The smile on his father’s face faltered, but Nico didn’t feel guilty. He pointed at the chair opposite, which Nico still hadn’t sat on. “Take a seat. I haven’t ordered anything.”

 

Nico considered leaving, but he knew it wouldn’t do any good, so he pulled the chair out and sat down, not looking his father in the eye.

 

“I’m glad you came.”

 

Nico was quick to reply, “I’m not here for you. I’m here for Hazel.”

 

“Yes.” his father said, “She wants us to get along.”

 

The waiter came over then, expectantly waiting for them to order, but Mr di Angelo waved him away. “Son, I want to try and be a part of your life again.” he said, “Since the accident, I’ve come to realise a few things.”

 

“A few days in hospital isn’t enough to transform you from worst father ever to supportive and caring.” Nico deadpanned.

 

His father sighed, “Nico I’m trying.”

 

“Not hard enough.” Nico replied, “You had the chance to be a part of my life for twenty years. You weren’t there when I was bullied in school, when Bianca died, when I came out, when I graduated. You have no idea who I am, and you’ve had so long to know me.”

 

“It’s something I regret-”

 

“I don’t care. You’ve _never_ accepted me, and what, it took me yelling at you in a hospital room for you to realise that? I don’t buy it.”

 

His father shifted nervously in his seat, and it gave Nico some satisfaction to know he was the reason. “I’ll admit, my views and opinions are a little old-fashioned, traditional, but I know now that I’ve been unfair and I’m willing to change that for a chance to know my son.”

 

He sounded sincere, which made Nico wary. His father was never sincere about something unless it was bad, and from that Nico’s learned to never trust his father’s promises. He didn’t know how to reply to that, he just sat opening and closing his mouth like a lost guppy.

 

His silence was apparently an indicator for his father to carry on, “You said, at the hospital, that you had a boyfriend. What’s he like?” his voice was strained and Nico could tell it made him uncomfortable.

 

What made it worse was that he didn’t have a boyfriend anymore. It would be like admitting to his father that his view on same-sex relationships was right. “Um. We’re not… I mean I’m not- we broke up. Kinda. We’re not together anymore.”

 

He held his breath as he waited for a response, but his father just nodded, “What happened?”

 

Nico shrugged, “We just didn’t work out.” Talking about it made his chest hurt.

 

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

 

“Are you?” he replied.

 

Another sigh came from across the table, “I am, Nico, I genuinely am. Believe it or not I want you to be happy. I may have been a bad father to you and your sister growing up, and for that I am sorry. I never meant to shut you out after Bianca’s death. I wanted to be there but I wasn’t handling it all too well myself.” he said, “I may have missed the first twenty years but I don’t want to go through the rest of my life without knowing my son and the man he’s become, regardless of who he dates. I don’t want you to miss out on having a father around for another twenty years.”

 

Nico’s hands were shaking underneath the table, “I don’t… I can’t.” he said, taking a deep breath, “It’s too late.”

 

“Please-”

 

“Dad, I tried killing myself. You stuck me in rehab and then ignored it. I needed help, needed a father and you weren’t there.” Nico interrupted, “I can’t just sit back and let you come back into my life like this. I worked hard on my own to get where I am, no thanks to you. I don’t need you anymore.”

 

There was a hint of disappointment on his father’s face, “Do you not _want_ a father? I’ve changed.”

 

“I don’t believe you. Even so, I don’t want a father who once neglected me when I needed him most.” Nico said, “I think we’re done here.”

 

His father sighed sadly, and then stood up, straightening his suit which no doubt was his work suit, “Then I’m sorry.” he said, “I hope you find happiness, Nico, I really do.” he nodded at him, and then walked away from the table and out the door.

 

Nico felt his chest loosen, and the lump in his throat ease. He rubbed a hand over his face and shook his head to regain concentration.

 

The waiter came back over, a menu in his hand and a confused look on his face, “Is he coming back?”

 

Nico looked out the window, then back at the waiter, “No. No, he’s not.”

 

When Hazel called and asked him how it went later that night, he told her what happened and she let out a sigh of disappointment, but understood, “Well thanks for trying I guess. I personally genuinely believe he was trying, but I understand that it’s hard for you to… after… you know.” she had said.

 

She’d left Nico in peace after that, getting back to Piper and Jason’s party. Over the phone he’d heard cheering and countdowns and could tell that people were downing drinks. He just hoped none of his friends drunk called him in the middle of the night.

 

He wondered if Will even went in the end. Or if he stayed at home because he was worried for the same reasons Nico was. Then he realised that he probably did go, and that because Will is Will, he didn’t let it get to him and is probably there with Connor, having a great time. Nico pretended that that thought didn’t make him feel pretty shitty.

 

The reason Nico had never said anything to Percy about his feelings wasn’t because he knew he was straight, it was because he didn’t want to risk losing such an amazing friend, didn’t want to risk ruining their relationship. At high school they used to be inseparable, the two of them and Jason were always together, and since graduation they drifted apart. Towards the end of high school both Jason and Percy got girlfriends, and had plans for their futures, leaving Nico on his own. He did always think that there wasn’t a place for him, the group was made up of couples. Nico would never fit into that. He was the outsider, the one that people included because they felt bad for him.

 

Once again, he’d pushed those who cared about him away. His father, his friends. He had another chance with Will but he pushed him away as well.

 

His strength was about to be tested once more.

 

* * *

 

_(One week later)_

 

It was a quiet Wednesday afternoon. Jason and Leo were around, taking up all the space in Nico’s already cramped dorm room. In the past month his grades had dropped drastically, and so he was scheduled to take a makeup test for the one he missed last week later in the day.

 

He had his head in his books, trying to remember different facts about literature and ancient Roman authors. Leo and Jason weren’t any help, bickering with each other about where was the best place to lunch.

 

That was when he got a text, and an uneasy feeling settled in his stomach when Leo and Jason’s phones beeped as well.

 

“Did you guys just get-” he started.

 

“A text from Percy? Yeah.” Leo replied, sitting up on the bed.

 

Jason got up, “Something’s happened.”

 

They took a cab and ten minutes later were at the hospital. When they got in, Percy was pacing in the waiting room, hands rubbing the back of his neck and running through his hair. They ran over to him immediately.

 

“What happened?” Jason asked, “Where’s Annabeth?”

 

Percy looked up at them, worry in his eyes. “I- she… she fell. We thought she was okay but she was in discomfort. The doctor said there’s nothing wrong with her personally but…”

 

At that moment, Frank, Hazel and Piper burst through the doors in a flurry of “What happened?” and “Is everything okay?”

 

Nico put his hands on Percy’s shoulders and looked him dead in the eye, “But what?”

 

He could tell that Percy was biting back tears, red lined his eyes and his bottom lip was trembling, “They’re doing scans on the baby.” he said, and Nico heard a gasp from behind him. He looked down, and felt Percy shaking underneath his hands, “They don’t know if…”

 

Then the doctor came out and cleared his throat, “Mr Jackson? Miss Chase, is asking for you.”

 

Percy composed himself, nodding at his friends, “Guess we’ll find out.” he said.

 

“It’ll be okay, Percy.” Jason said.

 

Percy nodded and followed the doctor, leaving the rest of them in a shocked silence. Piper saw with Jason, his arm around her shoulder in a comforting gesture. Frank and Hazel were stood to the side, hand in hand. So Nico went over to Leo, who was leaning against the wall biting his nails anxiously. Neither of them said anything, but they both got the message.

 

It was painful to wait until Percy came back out again, but it was even more painful to see Percy return as pale as a ghost, tears streaming down his face and a blank expression. Piper and Jason stood up, and Nico stepped forward.

 

“Percy?”

 

His eyes were fixed on the floor, but he looked up straight at Nico and sniffed, and Nico felt his heart break for him. He shook his head, and before Nico knew what he was doing he surged forward, wrapping his arms around Percy because he really looked like he needed a hug. Percy hugged him back, burying his face in Nico’s shoulder as he cried. Jason walked over as well, wrapping his arms around both of them.

 

Frank and Leo stood by, hanging their heads, while Piper and Hazel went to see Annabeth.

 

Nico knew how badly Percy wanted this baby, how happy he was to have a kid. He hated how much it hurt Percy, hated how much it hurt him to see Percy like that. He hated the world for taking away his friends’ happiness, they didn’t deserve that.

 

* * *

 

Nico stayed while everybody else went home. Percy was staying as well, but with Annabeth as she had a few more checkups. Nico didn’t know how long he waited in the waiting room, but he found himself get hungry. As he went to the vending machine, his phone started ringing. When he looked at the caller ID, he swore.

 

“Hello?”

 

_“Mr di Angelo. Your makeup test is starting, are you going to be here?”_

 

Nico bit his lip, “I can’t make it. It’s sort of a personal emergency.”

 

It wasn’t his emergency, but his friends needed him.

 

_“You realise that if you don’t take this test you’re not liable to pass onto next semester, you won’t be able to return, thus your college application be revoked.”_

 

“Yes.” He saw Percy outside Annabeth’s room, talking to a doctor, “I understand that. I’m sorry.” The man on the other line said something, but he wasn’t listening, he muttered a “Thank-you.” and hung up. He was about to follow Percy back into the room but a voice called his name and he was rooted to the floor.

 

“Nico?”

 

Nico turned and his eyes widened, “Will- what…. What are you doing here?”

 

“Helping out as part of my pre-med course.” Will said, _of course he was,_ “What are you doing here?”

 

Nico wished he had something else to say, “Annabeth lost the baby.” he said quietly.

 

Will’s mouth opened slightly, and he exhaled, “I’m sorry.”

 

Because that’s all you can say in a situation like that. What else can you say? Nico nodded, and Will stepped forward, “Are you okay?”

 

He wasn’t, but Nico tried to pretend he was. “Yeah.”

 

“You’re a terrible liar.” Will said, “Talk to me, I have time.”

 

“What about Connor?” It was an unfair jab, but Will didn’t seem deterred.

 

“Connor was just a fling.” Will replied, “Nico, let me in. Don’t shut me out again.”

 

Nico squeezed his eyes shut. He refused to cry in front of Will, but just seeing him after so long… It was so good to just see him. “I’ve missed you.”

 

Will walked over to him, “I’ve missed you too.”

 

Normally, Nico wouldn’t have considered doing what he did, but he a lot was happening and he needed reassurance. So he took a step closer towards Will and rested his forehead on Will’s chest. It was then that he let himself cry.

 

Will was shocked, but he put his arms around him, “Hey… hey it’s okay.”

 

Nico shook his head vigorously, “No it’s not.” he said, “My dad came to see me again, and I shut him out for good this time. Percy and Annabeth have… have… they’re good people, they don’t deserve that. All my friends are moving on with their lives. I got kicked out of college, so I’m practically homeless and after today I doubt my dad will be willing to pay for an apartment, I’ve been getting help but recently I feel like I’m backtracking and all I’ve wanted since I let you go was to sit next to you and just be near you.”

 

Will bit his lip, not knowing what to say.

 

“Why do bad things happen to good people?” Nico asked.

 

Will sighed, “Let’s not do this here. You want to go get some food? You must be starving.”

 

Nico felt bad about leaving, but Annabeth and Percy would understand, so he nodded.

 

* * *

 

They ended up in a deserted 24/hr McDonalds. They ordered fries, but they sat in a booth by the window in silence. Neither of them had said anything on their way over, either.

 

Nico was starting to regret not ordering a drink, his mouth was becoming uncomfortably dry, “I owe you an apology.”

 

Will paused mid-fry, “What?”

 

“First for shutting you out, and then for jumping to conclusions about you and Connor.” Nico replied, “I never meant to hurt you, you know. I was just… in a bad place.”

 

“Nico-” Will pushed his plate to the side, “I’ve never once blamed you for what happened between us.”

 

Nico looked up, “You didn’t blame me?”

 

Will smiled gently, “How could I? I didn’t go into this relationship thinking we we’d be perfect. It was just not our time. I wish I could’ve been there more for you, yes, but this time apart has done nothing but make me realise how much I really want you.”

 

Nico’s eyes widened, “Will-”

 

“I understand if you’re not ready.” Will said, “But- you said you were getting help? I want to be there with you. Every step of the way, if you’d let me.”

 

Nico bit the inside of his cheek, his knee bouncing nervously underneath the table, “I have spent so long pushing people away from me. Maybe it’s time I stop doing that.” he reached across the table and intertwined his fingers with Will’s, “Maybe it’s time I start letting people in.”

 

Will squeezed his hand, and Nico took a breath, “If you’ll have me, that is.”

 

The smile he got in return was blinding, and Will laughed, “I’d have you any day.”

 

* * *

 

_(A month later)_

 

“You sure you want to do this?” Nico shouted, “Once I put this box down there’s no going back.”

 

Will laughed from the kitchen, “You know what I think I’m having second thoughts.”

 

“Screw you, Solace. Tough luck.”

 

After being officially kicked out the dorms by the college, Piper and Jason had kindly let Nico crash on the couch while he tried to find a relatively cheap place to live. But Will had the space and it just made sense for Nico to move in with him. Not being at college was weird, but he was glad he didn’t have to learn Roman literature anymore. He was grateful that his dad paid his tuition, but it made him realise that it wasn’t for him. What he was going to do, he wasn’t sure, but he’d gotten a job at the campus grocery store to help Will with rent.

 

As Nico put the final box down on the carpet in the livingroom, Will came through from the kitchen with two glasses of water. He set them down on the coffee table and smiled as Nico fanned himself with his hand.

 

“You could help, you know.” he said.

 

“Why?” Will tilted his head, “You’ve done such a good job.”

 

Nico pouted, and Will’s smile grew as he leaned down and kissed it away.

 

“How did your appointment go yesterday?” Will asked, after handing Nico a glass.

 

Nico shrugged, “Okay. Like the others, I guess.” he took a sip from his water, “It’s getting easier though, to open up.”

 

“That’s great.” Will grinned, squeezing Nico’s arm, “I’m really proud of you, you know?”

 

“I know.” Nico nodded, “Anyway are you going to help me unpack or what? We’ve got a load of people coming over later and I don’t want them to to see how messy I am.”

 

Will laughed “Okay, okay, I’ll help.”

 

* * *

 

They managed to get everything packed away before the first person arrived. They were having a small get together with their friends as a sort of housewarming, even though Nico was the only one moving in. People were scattered around the apartment drinking and chatting. Nico, Will and Piper were talking to Annabeth, admiring the huge diamond that sat on her ring finger.

 

“It’s so beautiful!” Piper exclaimed, “I wonder how much it cost.”

 

“Percy’s not telling me.” Annabeth replied, “It just seems so surreal.”

 

Will smiled, “I’m really happy for you two.” he said.

 

After Annabeth lost the baby the month before, she and Percy sat down and decided that maybe it was a bit fast to be having a baby, despite both of them having wanted it. Not long after, Percy had proposed, and they both figured it was better for them to be married before having kids.

 

“I’m guessing you already have wedding plans in your head.” Nico stated.

 

“Oh!” Piper raised her hand, “Please let me help out with the planning! I have so many ideas!”

 

Annabeth laughed, “Well, I do, naturally. And I actually want to talk to you about that. I want you to be my maid-of-honour. You’ve been there with me through everything, we’ve known each other for so long, so it just makes sense for you to be up there with me. Of course Hazel will be a bridesmaid but… what do you say?”

 

Piper squealed and hugged Annabeth tightly. “Of course!!” she replied, “Then Hazel can be the maid-of-honour at my wedding and you at hers!”

 

Nico smirked, leaning over to whisper to Will, “I can only imagine what Jason and Frank would think if they overheard that.”

 

Will laughed behind his hand and looked up at Percy came over.

 

“Sorry to interrupt…” he frowned cautiously in the direction of the girls, “but do you mind if I borrow Nico for a moment?”

 

“He’s all yours.” Will replied.

 

“Will get me a drink for when I come back please?” Nico asked, before following Percy out onto the balcony. “What’s up? Having second thoughts?”

 

“Absolutely not.” Percy said, shaking his head, “Nico, you’re my best friend, you’ve stayed by my side through everything. You’ve never let me down, and so… I want you to be my best man. What do you say?”

 

A million thoughts went through Nico’s head. Thoughts like _Oh god I’d have to organise the stag do_ and _Will I have to write a speech?_ “Percy I… What about Jason?”

 

“I’ve already talked it through with him, and he’s fine with it. He’ll still be in the wedding, but I want you there next to me.” Percy said, “So… can I count you in?”

 

Nico didn’t have to be asked again, “Yeah, yeah you can.”

 

Percy gave him a big hug, “I love you, man.”

 

Nico patted him on the back in return, “Alright, get off me you asshole.”

 

His friend grinned, “You love me really.”

 

Some time ago Nico might’ve freaked out at that comment, but now he knew that it was true, but only in one sort of way. “Sure.”

 

They went back into the party and Nico immediately sought after Will. After finding him talking to Leo he grabbed his arm, apologised to Leo and dragged him into the bedroom to have some privacy.

 

“Nico I know you can’t resist me but we have guests.” Will said as Nico closed the door.

 

“Shut up, Will, I didn’t bring you in here to fool around, I have some dignity.” he replied.

 

Will raised an eyebrow, “Then what did you bring me in here for?”

 

“To say thank-you.” When Will gave him a clueless look, Nico sighed and continued, “For being there for me, through everything.”

 

Will crossed the floor to him and put his hands on Nico’s hips, “Nico you have nobody to thank but yourself. You got yourself here. Not me.”

 

Nico hummed, “Yeah well you helped me get here.” he said, “And now you’re stuck with me, there’s no backing out now. I mean it, Will, I’m here for good this time.”

 

Will leaned down and kissed him, pulling back with a smile on his face, “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

 

The next morning when they woke up together in an apartment they both lived in, Nico finally felt content, at ease. He looked over at Will, his hair sticking up in all directions, his too big and stretched out shirt ridden up over his soft stomach, which Nico found absolutely adorable, the way his collar bones poked out and displayed the marks which spoke of the night before’s events, and the tired smile that Will was giving him when he opened his eyes. Nico couldn’t think of anywhere else he’d rather be.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> thanks a bunch for reading this far, lemme know your thoughts by leaving a kudos or comment


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